Peterson Toscano's A Musing

Her father sexually abused her relentlessly. He referred to queer people as "those goddamn faggots!" He cursed her for being lesbian. He died in bitterness and alcoholism. Regina never liked him. But Regina's mother sat her down this past November to set the story straight. "Regina, when you told me you were a lesbian, you may have wondered how I took it all so well," her mother began then dropped the bomb. "Your father liked men." Seems all his homophobia was aimed right at himself as part of his own self-loathing. He never hated Regina because she was lesbian; he hated himself. In spite of the mess she was given, Regina speaks of hope and healing and love. Regina: "If we are not real, it will kill us and we will take other people with us." Regina: "I want to expand the meaning of the phrase, 'My People.'" Regina wants to include more than just other African-American Lesbian Women in ...

Human We want so much to be OKAY, but part of being human beings is being desperately Unwell. Part of being human is emptiness is confusion Part of being human feels disconnected. Being human in the modern world, We want to be fixed, To be whole, To spackle over the flaws and gashes, To facelift it, tuck it, liposuck it. but we war not against flesh and blood We have to live with it. Although it feels like stacks of jagged bricks Cascading on my head, pummeling my body, Bloodying me…it will pass. Yes, The pain will lessen, will dull. These shadows have become part of what makes me Beautiful, Noble, Authentic. Some wounds do not heal Or if they do, they leave behind their Beauty Marks, gnarling our souls, making us human to each other

The Bible speaks of a blessing or a curse that can be passed down from one or both parents. Parents have the power to bestow a blessing on their children. Many give this blessing passively through their example and personal success. The good things they have they share with their children. Most powerfully, they speak words of affirmation to a child; these words give life. Similarly parents possess the power to invoke a curse that mars the life-path of a child, not always permanently, but the curse leaves the way cluttered with doubt and low self-esteem suffered by the cursed child. I've seen this so clearly in the queer community. Many folks who become well adjusted in their sexuality and personality received the blessing from their parents. Even if there was an initial difficulty on the part of the parents to accept a gay, lesbian, transgendered child, once folks come on board and embrace their child, queerness and all, it results in blessing, confidence, health. Similar...