Peterson Toscano's A Musing

Here at the annual gathering of the Friends General Conference of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers), I have been moved in a way that has rarely happened to me among Quakers. After lunch we gathered for worship to listen to a recording of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. when he addressed the same gathering in 1958. I expected to find it interesting from a historical perspective and even timely, but I had no idea that it would speak so directly to me and my current spiritual condition. After a year of absorbing horror stories about ex-gay survivors and hearing cruel, inaccuate, twisted words from fellow Christians and even verbal bashing from people who say all manner of evil against my transgender, lesbian, bisexual, genderqueer and gay friends, I have felt angry and bruised and hateful. My heart has begun to feel like a sour, half-rotten plum with a jagged stone inside it tearing up the flesh. The cumulative effect of so much spiritual and human violence and dishonesty has left me...

Yesterday I arrived in Johnstown, PA for the yearly meeting of the Friends General Conference, a gathering of about 1500 Quakers from North America and beyond. In my welcoming packet I found a one-page info sheet entitled Creating a Trans*-Friendly Gathering written by Kody Hersh. Kody gave a plenary address last year and shared some of his transgender experiences with the Gathering. In addition, an Interest Group entitled Trans 101 will be offered later in the week. I feel so pleased to be part of a community that seeks to welcome all. The language in Kody's info sheet struck me as thoughtful, clear and helpful. So much so I thought I'd share it with you. * trans: transsexual, transgender, or genderqueer; a person who experiences or expresses gender in a way that is different from social expectations of their assigned birth sex. FGC Gathering seeks to be a welcoming space for all Friends, with a variety of life experiences and needs. It is our experience and belief tha...

The Religious Society of Friends (aka Quakers) maintains a long tradition of queries, thoughtful questions to help Friends think deeply about important issues. (I alway carry a copy of Britain Yearly Meeting's Advices & Queries given to me by my Friend Esther, who replaced the plain Quaker red cover with a multi-colored one.) Similarly Quakers have a tradition of testimonies , statements about issues that Friends have found vital for our faith and practice. In August I will have the honor to attend and participate in the annual gathering of Baltimore Yearly Meeting to be held in the North West corner of Maryland at Frostburg State University. In filling out my registration form, I scanned the workshop offerings. The following workshop arrested me. Bottled Water and the Quaker Testimonies: Can They be Compatible? Americans spend $15,000,000,000 a year on bottled water. The world spends $15,000,000,000 a year to develop and to provide potable water to the developing world. The ...

Ah, Marvin. Some of you may remember, Marvin Bloom, our favorite Jew-for-Jesus from Long Island, NY, is no longer ex-gay. See this post of his video announcement. Apparently Marvin has taken to the gay lifestyle with evangelistic zeal (gay lifestyle as in wearing tacky rainbow clothing and attending Pride Parades and bashing straights). In this video he gives us an update and his very own pride message. Of course this over the top embrace of all things gay commonly happens to those of us who crammed ourselves into closet, cupboards and wardrobes all those years. We burst out of those confined places, and suddenly we see the world through rainbow lenses. It is not unlike the born-again experience, especially if one converts as a young adult. I remember dashing to the Salt Shaker, the local Christian bookstore, where I bought all manner of Jesus products. Not just books and music, I purchased Jesus pencils, Jesus t-shirts, Jesus glue sticks, etc. We see this same expression of new ...

Jack Drescher sent me a link to the following article, a story that moved and encouraged me greatly. MANCHESTER, NH – In the first grade, 6-year-old Nicholas stood up one day and told his teacher he had something important to say. Not just to her. But to the whole class. “My name is Nicholas, but I want to be called Nikki because I’m really a girl,” he told his classmates at Parker-Varney School in Manchester. News of the incident did not come as a surprise to his mother, Diana. By the time Nicholas reached preschool, it had become obvious her foster son was never going to be “one of the boys.” Nikki turned out to be a very insightful and aware young girl. And then there was the issue of the “two hearts” – a pink one and a blue one. A young Nicholas insisted he had both, and then woke up one night and said he dreamed a monster took the blue one away, Diana said. Nikki is now 11 years old, and with her mother's help, she has been able to live as a girl at her school. It took work...

This is the June of the gay and lesbian marriages. So many of my friends and acquaintances got married in the past week. Most went to California to take part of the new marriage equality that now exists there (perhaps for a limited time only, but we shall see). I have seen so many beautiful photos of men with men and women with women dressed up and married. Last week when I was in Memphis, my friend (& Friend) and fellow blogger Joe Moderate married his partner in a lovely Quaker ceremony. Pomoprophet, who I met last year during the Ex-Gay Survivor Conference in Irvine, CA attended and provides a first hand account . Quakers do their wedding ceremonies much different than most of us are used to. Yet most of us really liked it! Quakers have no pastor and no one lead the service. We all sat in this simple white room, sitting in a big circle with the grooms near the middle. We started off with all of us introducing ourselves and sharing our relation to the grooms. This really set the...

Back in January I mentioned the Lost2Found website and art project. Started by a high school student near LA, it is a place where LGBT folks can share their experiences through art (both visual and written). The big art exhibit will be Friday June 27 (a week away). If you can make it, please do so. It should be amazing. (and they may still be receiving art submissions!)

Here are some videos for you (cause I'm too lazy to do any proper blogging, but I do have enough energy to maintain a raw vegan diet this week. Yum) 1. Announcement about my upcoming trip to Malta (shot in the courtyard at the St. Albans during European Forum of Lesbian and Gay Christians.) Check out Drachma's blog here . 2. PFLAG protests Love Won Out 3. Vincent Cervantes talks about the impact of ex-gay treatment and theories on his creativity. 4. Jayna (of the fabulous Trans-Ponder podcast ) talks about the importance of coming out of the closet 5. Grisno goes Under NYC! (Which reminds me of when Pastor David Wilkerson exhorted the Times Square Church congregation to pray for the C.H.U.D.s ) 6. And finally Mittymoo has some great zany video's with someone who must be a close relative to Marvin Bloom. (starring John Roberts). In My Son is Gay a mother comes to grips with the gayness of her son. And if you liked that one, check out this year's Mother's Day video ...

Wow, what a super Pride event in Memphis this weekend! The organizers put together a fun, family friendly and well organized series of events. They wisely chose a park with lots of shade for the festival, and they had loads of booths. The diversity of the crowd especially impressed me in a city where one can see people travel in their homogeneous packs. Young, old, black and white, transgender, straight, bisexual, lesbian and gay, the crowd showed off a wide cross-section of the population. I enjoyed being in the parade more than I thought I would. Sitting in a car waving at folks felt like it would be awkward (let me be on stage doing stuff or a chance to talk, but just sitting waving--weird). I saw many friends along the way from the various groups that have helped me through the years--Holy Trinity Community Church of Christ, Integrity and most recently Mid-South Pride with their help during Beyond Ex-Gay's big weekend back in February. Lindsey Melvin, a writer from the Comme...

I flew into Memphis on Tuesday night, my third visit to this Mid-South city since February when Christine Bakke and I along with several other ex-gay survivors came to town to work with local LGBT folks in organizing Deconstructing the Ex-Gay Myth--A Weekend of Action & Art . Last night I performed my play The Re-Education of George W. Bush--No President Left Behind! making it the fourth play I have presented here in 2008. (I guess I need to write a new play before I return :-p ) 10 years ago I lived in Memphis. I had gradutated Love in Action, a Memphis-based residential program designed to straighten folks out, in March of 1998, but I returned to the program around this time after a "relapse". (I think I was the first person to actually graduate then return for more treatment. Usually graduates only come back to work as staff, which in itself is a form of on-going treatment). I spent the rest of the summer of '98 up through October going through the five phases of ...

My blog posts will format in an odd fashion as I compose them on my new Centro phone/PDA (it's too hot to lug around a laptop!) On Sunday my Dad and I joined about 20 other people for Soulforces's American Family Outing this time to Willow Creek Community Chruch, a 30,000 member mega church outside Chicago. The church leaders knew we were coming months in advance so they organized a tour of their massive facilities, which could easily house my home town. We then attended the service, a wonderful theater experience that rivaled a Vegas show. With a sound system like Willow Creek's who needs the Holy Spirit? Then we sat down for lunch with senior pastor Bill Hybel's and key members of the ministry team. Much of the first half of the meeting consisted of introductions and explanations of why we chose to attend. Mary Lou, a former member of the church, spoke about her daughter Anna's suicide. Jay Bakker spoke about the cost of taking a stand for LGBT people. Julie, a t...

I write this from my phone, so it will be short. Some of you may have heard about 27 year old Stephen Scott, a man in Northern Ireland who spoke out after three male teens attacked and beat him presumably because he is gay. In commenting about this story Northern Ireland DUP MP Iris Robinson publically judged reparative therapy (ex-gay treatment) as a viable option. (read story here www.towleroad.com/2008/06/sinn-fein-calls.html ) The reaction by LGB folks and allies in both N. Ireland and the Republic of Ireland has been swift and strong. Some Christians have spoken out as witnesses that not all Christians condemn gays & lesbians, in fact some in N. Ireland welcome and affirm LGBT people. Just today, Shirley, a friend in N. Ireland started a Facebook group--Iris Robinson--Not in My Name. Today (Tue) I will appear on Life! with Orla Barry Newstalk 106?108 fm (Dublin, Ireland) (6am NYC time :-p). www.newstalk.ie

During my recent trip to Europe, I did not take many pictures; I have to be in the mood. Someone in Barcelona will send me photos from our Beyond Ex-Gay conference there (which I will blog about soon--promise! It was AMAZING!) Below are some photos (click on them for a HUGE view) Church pictures in St. Albans (With the European Forum of Lesbian a went for Evensong) A day at Hatfield House with Auntie Doris Yorkshire Sculpture Park with Jo & Ali

I fly out of London tomorrow morning heading for NYC and then taking the bus up to Hartford. Phew. I have been away for a little more than a month, but it feels much longer. This trip has taken me to England, Wales, back to England, Northern Ireland, Catalonia, Spain, back to Catalonia, then back to England. I got to see LOADS of Auntie Doris (smooches) and even got little trips in to see Contemplative Activist, John Henson, and my dear friends Jo and Ali in Wakefield. Today I traveled down to Southampton for lunch with Candy, the mother of Esther, my lovely host in Reading and a fellow Quaker. I had a lovely dinner over at the home Nalini's and her partner Robert, Esther's good friends. Had a GREAT show in Reading last night with a large enthusiastic crowd. (I did wind them up a little by promising that they had the power to make me do crazy things on stage just by their laughter and applause and if they played their cards right, I would become their very own performing monkey...

I got news yesterday that the DVD of Doin' Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House (edited by Morgan Jon Fox with designs by Christine Bakke--click on images for larger view) is now fully produced and ready for sale on-line. I have yet to see the final product, but the president of the company that did all the printing and copying sent me an e-mail to say how impressed he was with the final product and what a dream it was to work with Christine and Morgan. Quaker Books Friends General Conference will be distributing the DVD which you can get at their site by clicking here . After 15 years of submitting to reparative therapy, ex-gay support groups and even three exorcisms, Peterson Toscano enrolled in the ex-gay residential program, Love in Action. He graduated successfully from the program nearly two years later, but in January of 1999 decided he just needed to accept himself as a gay man. He weaves together humor, program jargon and outrageous eye witness accounts to form a piece tha...