Skip to main content

Dia De Los Muertos


Yesterday and today is Day of the Dead, a holiday that many Mexicans celebrate the lives of their departed loved ones. They gather at elaborately decorated graves to sing songs and joyously remembered friends and family members who have moved on to the next step of the life journey.

In homes, families set up altars with photos of the departed, keepsakes, favorite foods and candied skeletons to let folks know that they are still loved and appreciated.

I set up my own table to remember some of the remarkable people who enriched my lives, many of them women.

  • My Aunt Mary, who lived in Hartford for many years, endured family racism, lived clean and sober for over 18 years and made killer lentils with pasta

  • My Aunt Evelyn from the Bronx, who loved the Puerto Rican salsa music of her youth and accepted me for who I was even when I didn't know what that was.

  • My Great Aunt Mary, with her contagious weezy laugh and amazing tomato sauce

  • Helen Zias, a co-worker in NYC who saw NY as a country of its own and generously shared her favorite spots with me

  • Marcia Bush, an artist, teacher and lesbian who affirmed my dreams no matter how wild.

  • My Uncle Rocky, a true overcomer who ultimately subcumed to HIV/AIDS in the early 80's when no one really knew what the disease was and how it would change many of our lives

  • Madeline Ortiz, a lesbian mom who died way too young but died with faith and hope

These folks, most of them rebels, outsiders, overcomers, gave me so much. I dare not forget them, and I celebrate their lives and legacy.

Comments

Peterson Toscano said…
Yeah the Toscano clan is pretty ecclectic. My dad was the only one of his five siblings who married a mainland Italian. That means I have cousins who are half Italian and half-
Puerto Rican
Black
Filipino
and
Sicilian (which my grandfather never considered proper Italian)
and half Anglo.
2:32 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Gay Husband--A Spouse Speaks Out

The other day I received the following e-mail from Susanne, a woman who found out her some years ago that her husband has same-sex attractions. I felt so moved by her words that I asked her permission to share them with you on the blog. I (recently) saw your Doin Time... and I was the one who asked about your wife during the discussion period that followed. I just read your thoughts on What About the Spouse ....and I can say, most women who find out their husbands are gay feel ALL of those things you wondered about....some in more degrees than others... When my husband was dragged out of the closet because of his irreverent, immoral, and amoral behavior that our, then, 14 and 16 year old sons had to find on our home computer, I went into the closet. I didn't know what to pray for.... Do I pray that this will go away? Do I pray that he could go back to the way things were in our family before we knew about him,? Do I pray that I could go back to the way things were? After all ,...
122 comments
Read more

The False Image of LIA

John Smid and me-Graduation 1998 (above) & John Smid today (left) By now many have heard that Tennessee's Department of Mental Health & Developmental Disabilities determined that the "ex-gay" program, Love in Action, is operating two “unlicensed mental health supportive living facilities”. LIA has until Friday, September 23 to respond. If LIA statements in Eartha Jane Melzer's article are indicative to how the "change" program might respond, we may see LIA change right before our eyes from a clinical mental health compound into a house of praise and worship. Gerard Wellman, business administrator for Love in Action, and a former Love in Action client, said Sept. 13 that the organization has been in contact with the state but would not comment further. “As a church, we operate under a different set of rules,” Wellman said. Curious, and what rules might these be? What is even more curious is that according to LIA's site only one staff member ...
158 comments
Read more

Puzzled

Last night I performed Transfigurations-Transgressing Gender in the Bible at Imago Dei Metropolitan Community Church in Glen Mills, PA (about 15 miles outside of Philly). I had a diverse audience of about 45 people -- college students, Quakers, straight, bi, trans and lesbian, young and old. I took my time with the piece maintaining a gentle meditative pace. For the ending when I reveal the identity of the narrator, I had instructed the light tech to dim the lights. Then as the closing music swelled, I asked her to raise the lights to their brigthest intensity. With the music playing, I exited. Always (up until last night) at this point the audience applauds, I wait 5 seconds then come out to take a bow. Last night I exited and then nothing. No one clapped. They sat quietly as the music played. I stood back stage puzzled, baffled. Now what do I do? Wait? Go out anyway? And I wondered for a moment, Did they hate it? Did I confuse them? Offend them? Bore them into a coma? After what ...
18 comments
Read more