In which Marvin responds to Willie Hewes' recent comments concerning Marvin and Soon's impending entanglement. 
The other day I received the following e-mail from Susanne, a woman who found out her some years ago that her husband has same-sex attractions. I felt so moved by her words that I asked her permission to share them with you on the blog. I (recently) saw your Doin Time... and I was the one who asked about your wife during the discussion period that followed. I just read your thoughts on What About the Spouse ....and I can say, most women who find out their husbands are gay feel ALL of those things you wondered about....some in more degrees than others... When my husband was dragged out of the closet because of his irreverent, immoral, and amoral behavior that our, then, 14 and 16 year old sons had to find on our home computer, I went into the closet. I didn't know what to pray for.... Do I pray that this will go away? Do I pray that he could go back to the way things were in our family before we knew about him,? Do I pray that I could go back to the way things were? After all ,...
Comments
I know I was challenging you, but I guess you rose to that challenge. You stuck to your faith and you're following the path, and you know, I respect that. I'm not sure about me being anointed or a man of God, but they're nice things to say I guess, so, thanks.
Yeah, I guess you could call me "unsaved", in the same way that I could call you "closeted". It's all about different points of view.
From my point of view, people live, and then they die, and one of the saddest things is all the anger suffering and loneliness that they have to deal with in between. I believe in being happy, and striving to be happy, and helping other people be happier.
Perhaps Soon and you would be happy together, I certainly think that *in general* *on average* people tend to be happier when they have some kind of companionship then when they are alone. That doesn't have to be based on a romantic and sexual mutual attraction, I think. To be honest, I think romance is overrated as a basis for long term relationships.
(As an aside, yes, sex is difficult for most people I know. It touches on so much; who you are, how you relate to each other, who's in charge... But that's also why it's so rewarding and self-affirming when it does work out. I love good sex. But heaven knows it's not always easy getting there.)
This comment is already really long, but I have another point to make; one you're probably familiar with, and that you'll probably just blank, but I feel the need to make it.
You don't have to be ex-gay to be a Christian. You and Soon are clearly church people, and that's good, but the church you attend condemns something that you'll probably never be free from; your same sex attractions. This means that if you stay where you are, you will be fighting a struggle for the rest of your life, which may not be necessary.
Maybe it's worth just exploring the other option, and trying to find a church that teaches the word of God as you understand it, but does not judge people on this point. I know from the little research I've done on this issue that there are different ways of reading the "gay" passages in the bible, and plenty of groups (even evangelical ones) that do not teach all kinds of homosexuality are necessarily sinful.
I think, if you could reconcile your relationship with God and the bible with your natural predisposition towards men, maybe you'd be even happier than married to Soon.
OK, that was all I had to say, thank you for your indulgence.
All the best Marvin, and thank you for praying for me. :)