The other day I received the following e-mail from Susanne, a woman who found out her some years ago that her husband has same-sex attractions. I felt so moved by her words that I asked her permission to share them with you on the blog. I (recently) saw your Doin Time... and I was the one who asked about your wife during the discussion period that followed. I just read your thoughts on What About the Spouse ....and I can say, most women who find out their husbands are gay feel ALL of those things you wondered about....some in more degrees than others... When my husband was dragged out of the closet because of his irreverent, immoral, and amoral behavior that our, then, 14 and 16 year old sons had to find on our home computer, I went into the closet. I didn't know what to pray for.... Do I pray that this will go away? Do I pray that he could go back to the way things were in our family before we knew about him,? Do I pray that I could go back to the way things were? After all ,...
Musings of Peterson Toscano, an ex-gay survivor and creator of Doin' Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House, Transfigurations: Transgressing Gender in the Bible, and Bubble and Squeak podcast.
Comments
I don't know about you, but I start getting anxious when I feel dependent on others. (And I wonder if it is a Christian thing, or an American thing, when I start to feel that way.) But, I found myself breathing deeply a couple times after listening to you just to relax.
Listen... Peterson has my phone number. I'm a little bit wierd in that I have days when I don't like the phone much, but I try to be responsive to my friends.
And, it doesn't matter to me whether you think of me as a friend of yours, because I think of you as a friend of mine, OK? I'm serious about that.
Maybe your mom will run for groceries (or for a couple more fans) at some point, and you can call me.
I don't know for sure, but my guess is that, among the people who listen to you, I'm hardly the only one who cares about you a lot. Say the word, and they'll probably be there for you.
(20 years ago, I had an 88-y/o neighbor named Esther who I thought was kind of a drag -- she kept calling me for help reading and paying her bills because of her poor eyesight. When she died a few years later, I found out that she had actually given me an amazing gift, because she had refused to let her family see or help with her bills for decades. Sometimes, when we tell someone "I need you," we are giving them something precious, not taking or demanding.)
Take care, friend...