Skip to main content

UK Voices

Dave Rattigan a new contributor to Ex-Gay Watch (Yes!) and has already offered thoughtfully presented posts to an already wonderful blog for all things ex-gay. Dave also recently wrote an article on the Ex-Gay Movement in the UK that appeared in June 2006 edition of the British Evangelical magazine, Third Way.

Rattigan blends his personal narrative with interviews and history of the ex-gay movement in the US and the UK.
“God make me straight,” I used to pray nightly. It’s what every dissatisfied gay Christian wants more than anything. I would wake up the next day and sometimes get as far as lunchtime thinking maybe that was the day I’d wake up healed. But always it would end in disillusionment, the same feelings coming back, and I knew I wasn’t changed inside.
He goes on to write about Exodus, Love in Action (including Zach Stark and incidents surrounding his time in the Refuge program), True Freedom Trust, Courage and LIFE Ministries, an off-shoot of the NY ex-gay program of the same name that I attended in the late 1980's.
From Out and Cowed? Ex-Gay in the UK

Speaking of Courage, Jeremy Marks, the former ex-gay leader who now affirms fellow queer folks, recently posted a personal narrative on the Courage web site. He wrote the piece after a two year course in Spiritual Direction. In it, he shares much of his background and detailed information about how he shifted in his beliefs and practice.
When it came to celebrating Ten Years of Courage with a special service in London in the summer of 1998, I was privately experiencing ever-growing doubts as to where we were heading for the next ten years. The fallout rate of those we had journeyed with was alarming to say the least.

But it took the near death of one of our former members to finally begin to impact me with a real sense of the delusion we had been in. This man had lived with us on our residential discipleship course for about 18 months before he decided it was time to move on. We were happy for him to do so; we had seen him recover from serious illness and great loss in his life, and we fully expected he would move on from strength to strength. A couple of years later however, we had almost lost touch with him until we heard he made a massive and very serious suicide attempt.

The circumstances in which he was found and rushed to hospital were in themselves truly miraculous. In the months it took him to recover, I visited him as often as I could. Clearly the inner conflict set up in his psyche as a result of denying his homosexual orientation and trying to believe that God was changing him had created total inner devastation.
From My Spiritual Journey

Comments

It is indeed a terrific post.
Anonymous said…
Thanks for that link.

Having been involved with Courage in '98, it is interesting to see how Jeremy's path has developed in the intervening years. His words are a challenge to the church. I just hope that the right people hear and comprehend.

Popular posts from this blog

My Gay Husband--A Spouse Speaks Out

The other day I received the following e-mail from Susanne, a woman who found out her some years ago that her husband has same-sex attractions. I felt so moved by her words that I asked her permission to share them with you on the blog. I (recently) saw your Doin Time... and I was the one who asked about your wife during the discussion period that followed. I just read your thoughts on What About the Spouse ....and I can say, most women who find out their husbands are gay feel ALL of those things you wondered about....some in more degrees than others... When my husband was dragged out of the closet because of his irreverent, immoral, and amoral behavior that our, then, 14 and 16 year old sons had to find on our home computer, I went into the closet. I didn't know what to pray for.... Do I pray that this will go away? Do I pray that he could go back to the way things were in our family before we knew about him,? Do I pray that I could go back to the way things were? After all ,...

The False Image of LIA

John Smid and me-Graduation 1998 (above) & John Smid today (left) By now many have heard that Tennessee's Department of Mental Health & Developmental Disabilities determined that the "ex-gay" program, Love in Action, is operating two “unlicensed mental health supportive living facilities”. LIA has until Friday, September 23 to respond. If LIA statements in Eartha Jane Melzer's article are indicative to how the "change" program might respond, we may see LIA change right before our eyes from a clinical mental health compound into a house of praise and worship. Gerard Wellman, business administrator for Love in Action, and a former Love in Action client, said Sept. 13 that the organization has been in contact with the state but would not comment further. “As a church, we operate under a different set of rules,” Wellman said. Curious, and what rules might these be? What is even more curious is that according to LIA's site only one staff member ...

Puzzled

Last night I performed Transfigurations-Transgressing Gender in the Bible at Imago Dei Metropolitan Community Church in Glen Mills, PA (about 15 miles outside of Philly). I had a diverse audience of about 45 people -- college students, Quakers, straight, bi, trans and lesbian, young and old. I took my time with the piece maintaining a gentle meditative pace. For the ending when I reveal the identity of the narrator, I had instructed the light tech to dim the lights. Then as the closing music swelled, I asked her to raise the lights to their brigthest intensity. With the music playing, I exited. Always (up until last night) at this point the audience applauds, I wait 5 seconds then come out to take a bow. Last night I exited and then nothing. No one clapped. They sat quietly as the music played. I stood back stage puzzled, baffled. Now what do I do? Wait? Go out anyway? And I wondered for a moment, Did they hate it? Did I confuse them? Offend them? Bore them into a coma? After what ...