The 2nd edition of the new emergent Christian on-line magazine, Holy Muse, is now available. This month's article focus on relationships, romance, lust and gay stuff. I enjoyed the first edition so much that I submitted a piece that they accepted. You can view it on pages 21 and 22 with original artwork by my friend Brandon D. Gunning (who by the way is a big Marvin fan).
The other day I received the following e-mail from Susanne, a woman who found out her some years ago that her husband has same-sex attractions. I felt so moved by her words that I asked her permission to share them with you on the blog. I (recently) saw your Doin Time... and I was the one who asked about your wife during the discussion period that followed. I just read your thoughts on What About the Spouse ....and I can say, most women who find out their husbands are gay feel ALL of those things you wondered about....some in more degrees than others... When my husband was dragged out of the closet because of his irreverent, immoral, and amoral behavior that our, then, 14 and 16 year old sons had to find on our home computer, I went into the closet. I didn't know what to pray for.... Do I pray that this will go away? Do I pray that he could go back to the way things were in our family before we knew about him,? Do I pray that I could go back to the way things were? After all ,...
Comments
It is healing to see that others have felt that way as well, for whatever reason, and have grown past it. (still trying to get there)
The "Comments? Click." link isn't working... maybe you can mention that to them.
I found the back door to the comment area (get your minds out of the gutter, gentle readers!) and posted the thoughts below. For anyone else who wants to comment, here's the link.
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Would it have been a reasonable expression of Christian compassion if Dale's pastor had said, "Please stay. Continue as our music minister. We don't completely understand what you're saying about being gay, but we have known you as God's gift to our worship for many years, and we feel called into conversation with you now. We have ached with you in your battle with depression, and rejoiced to gaze in your eyes in the aftermath of the suicide attempt."
That's not what Dale heard.
It's so messy, so complicated. So tragic. So many good people sincerely working toward being their best, their most compassionate selves.
He was flawed and fragile, desperately reaching for the hem of Jesus' garment, yet convinced that men of sacred cloth had slapped his hand away when it got close.
Better dead than gay?
Addled by biochemistry gone wrong, that question became a haunting thought which grew to become a conviction and the only destination that made sense.
He died in late 2000. I still don't know exactly what God meant for people to learn from his life.
But Dale, and perhaps God, left me behind to tell his story. To ask his questions. To push into territory that is uncomfortable for me. To challenge myself and others to address the stuff that is unsettling and scary. To learn something about compassion because my own compassion turned out to be something weaker and thinner than I had hoped.
j.
When I discuss pornography it's generally to lament that so much of it is of such dire quality, or to recommend particular comics etc. to friends. I accompany my boyfriend to the stripclub, and have the girls dance for *me*.
Your article is very good, but the views expressed in some of the rest of the magazine are just... alien. Should I comment anyway? They seem pretty desperate for forummers, but I'm not sure they'd want me! :D