In which after much soul searching about his sexuality and the possibility of "change", Marvin announces a bold new direction in his life.
The other day I received the following e-mail from Susanne, a woman who found out her some years ago that her husband has same-sex attractions. I felt so moved by her words that I asked her permission to share them with you on the blog. I (recently) saw your Doin Time... and I was the one who asked about your wife during the discussion period that followed. I just read your thoughts on What About the Spouse ....and I can say, most women who find out their husbands are gay feel ALL of those things you wondered about....some in more degrees than others... When my husband was dragged out of the closet because of his irreverent, immoral, and amoral behavior that our, then, 14 and 16 year old sons had to find on our home computer, I went into the closet. I didn't know what to pray for.... Do I pray that this will go away? Do I pray that he could go back to the way things were in our family before we knew about him,? Do I pray that I could go back to the way things were? After all ,...
Comments
I'm just a little surprised you didn't think about this out loud with Peterson given that he's got some relevant experience.
I know what it's like, though, to make a decision want to just do it, not question it or obsess about it.
I am afraid you'll find the 'professionals' at Love in Action promise more than the can deliver, and that you'll end up not only homeless and jobless, but still gay on top of that.
Take care.
Something you said in your post Marvin about addictions has me worried. I guess the question I have for you is do you think that by going there because you have addictions (and I am assuming they are sexually addictions ) will change your sexuality if your addictions are under control? See one of the reasons I went into New Hope Ministries was because I had this sexual addiction with men and because of that addiction being gay was wrong. Today, I see my addictions where what needed to be changed not be being gay. There is nothing that can change your feelings for other men, but you can have a happy and full life in Christ and be gay. I know I have been there myself. I wish the best of luck to you Marivin if this is what you decide to do. I will be praying for you. I hope all of this makes sense.
Just when I thought you couldn't shake things up any more than you already have, you go and sell your house, leave Long Island (really? for the first time?) AND enroll in LiA. WOW!! Them's sum big steps brother!
I trust that your interactions with LiA are much more rewarding than the many other's who have walked this path before you. Hopefully you are learning to discern the "wheat from the chaff" and if so, I think you'll find your stay potentially rewarding (Peterson...don't hit me please...LOL).
By the way Peterson, what's your take on all this?
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However, having completely picked up and moved to a whole other state (including starting over at 1/3 of my previous pay, living in basements instead of having my own place, etc) to go to an ex-gay program, I know that you probably won't be able to hear the voices of those who have survived these often negative experiences.
But I really hope you'll at least talk to Peterson about this. He's been in that program (is that how you heard about it?), and I am really worried that it will seriously harm your self-esteem, and more importantly, your relationship with God.
However, perhaps you are the kind of person that needs to make this last-ditch attempt. Lord knows you wouldn't be alone in that.
Just remember, no matter what happens there, and no matter whether your orientation changes or not...just remember that you are worth so much no matter what gender you love. You have so much to offer to the world, and in my opinion, you don't have to change a thing.
Smart people learn from their mistakes, the wise from the mistakes of others.
Not to be unkind, but I wish for your sake you could allow yourself to be wise.
I've always wanted to see Graceland.