Skip to main content

Why Do We Seek Ex-Gay Experiences?

Well it depends on who you ask, when you ask and under what circumstances. If ten years ago when I entered Love in Action, you asked me, I would say becuase of my faith in Jesus, the desire to find wholeness and healing and the hope to feel normal. My number one answer was always because of my relationship with God and my understanding of the scriptures based on how they were taught to me.

But on deeper inspection, processing my experience through art and therapy and blogging and discussion, I've unearthed deeper reasons that fueled my drive for change.

Jim Burroway over at Box Turtle Bulletin writes about a recent survey done by the ex-gay folks People Can Change (hmm, change--I imagine they don't just mean their underwear). No surprise the survey reveals what sounds like party line. I'm not saying that the survey participants answered dishonestly, but sometimes it takes time to figure out what is really motivating us.

Jim writes about it clearly and thoughtfully. Read Why Pay $550 to Change? Man, that's a bargin! Back in 1996 I was paying $950 per month (okay which did include meals and a single bed in a room with two other struggling homosexuals).

Comments

gay chrisian blogger--no special treatment. Everyone gets the same bed, eachs the same food, goes to the same church. One guy came from a denomination that worshipped on Saturday that he was forbidden to attend.

Oh and meals only includes five meals a week. The rest of it you are on your own.
Diana_CT said…
Why Do We Seek Ex-Gay Experiences?
I would imagine, Guilt! Whether it is from religion or family or society pressures we feel that somehow it is entirely our fault. For me I did not go through the EX-Gay movement, but I hid in the closet for fifty years worrying about what my family and friends would think. I felt that somehow I had let them down.
Willie Hewes said…
It's interesting that while "outside pressure" is the least cited reason, "shame" and "fear of rejection" are also on there, and score much higher.

Popular posts from this blog

My Gay Husband--A Spouse Speaks Out

The other day I received the following e-mail from Susanne, a woman who found out her some years ago that her husband has same-sex attractions. I felt so moved by her words that I asked her permission to share them with you on the blog. I (recently) saw your Doin Time... and I was the one who asked about your wife during the discussion period that followed. I just read your thoughts on What About the Spouse ....and I can say, most women who find out their husbands are gay feel ALL of those things you wondered about....some in more degrees than others... When my husband was dragged out of the closet because of his irreverent, immoral, and amoral behavior that our, then, 14 and 16 year old sons had to find on our home computer, I went into the closet. I didn't know what to pray for.... Do I pray that this will go away? Do I pray that he could go back to the way things were in our family before we knew about him,? Do I pray that I could go back to the way things were? After all ,...

The False Image of LIA

John Smid and me-Graduation 1998 (above) & John Smid today (left) By now many have heard that Tennessee's Department of Mental Health & Developmental Disabilities determined that the "ex-gay" program, Love in Action, is operating two “unlicensed mental health supportive living facilities”. LIA has until Friday, September 23 to respond. If LIA statements in Eartha Jane Melzer's article are indicative to how the "change" program might respond, we may see LIA change right before our eyes from a clinical mental health compound into a house of praise and worship. Gerard Wellman, business administrator for Love in Action, and a former Love in Action client, said Sept. 13 that the organization has been in contact with the state but would not comment further. “As a church, we operate under a different set of rules,” Wellman said. Curious, and what rules might these be? What is even more curious is that according to LIA's site only one staff member ...

Puzzled

Last night I performed Transfigurations-Transgressing Gender in the Bible at Imago Dei Metropolitan Community Church in Glen Mills, PA (about 15 miles outside of Philly). I had a diverse audience of about 45 people -- college students, Quakers, straight, bi, trans and lesbian, young and old. I took my time with the piece maintaining a gentle meditative pace. For the ending when I reveal the identity of the narrator, I had instructed the light tech to dim the lights. Then as the closing music swelled, I asked her to raise the lights to their brigthest intensity. With the music playing, I exited. Always (up until last night) at this point the audience applauds, I wait 5 seconds then come out to take a bow. Last night I exited and then nothing. No one clapped. They sat quietly as the music played. I stood back stage puzzled, baffled. Now what do I do? Wait? Go out anyway? And I wondered for a moment, Did they hate it? Did I confuse them? Offend them? Bore them into a coma? After what ...