I am at a Quaker high school retreat in Chicago this weekend, so my Internet time is very limited, but I wanted to add a few more details because people are rightly concerned for the welfare of young people in Exodus programs.
Although clearly inappropriate, the incidents that I related to Alan Chambers last July did not include criminal acts. The incidents revolved around interactions between adult and youth participants in an Exodus member ministry. Even though the incidents did not require contacting authorities at that time, the situations and the conditions that existed, (and as far as I know still exist), at the Exodus member ministry where these situations occurred, were such that minors were at risk for potential harm.
In our conversation, Alan also expressed concern along with his intention to create guidelines that would ensure the safety of youth under Exodus member ministries' care.
At that time I told Alan that I believe it is inappropriate and harmful to do any sort of ex-gay therapy on youth and with youth, particularly against their will. Knowing that Exodus will continue to do so, it is necessary that they do everything in their power to protect these young people.
The non-violent work that I do involves attempting to connect with people to create a "win-win" situation if at all possible. Building relationships, shedding assumptions, believing the best in people are all part of my Christian testimony. Joe Brummer outlines some of these non-violent steps in his most recent post. I don't hate Alan or Exodus. I have used much restraint in hopes of seeing real change.
Some of us who feel we have been wounded by the ex-gay ministries and the anti-gay church may have sometimes wish to do them harm and to think the worse, to malign them the way that we feel they malign the LGBT community. For me Jesus' teachings is that I should seek to do good and speak out against injustice but not exact revenge.
Perhaps some people would love there to be a major Exodus scandal. I want to see one avoided.
Alan has the power to keep young people from being harmed under his watch. He shared that he will bring forth new guidelines that will protect youth. I believe these should minimally include:
Although clearly inappropriate, the incidents that I related to Alan Chambers last July did not include criminal acts. The incidents revolved around interactions between adult and youth participants in an Exodus member ministry. Even though the incidents did not require contacting authorities at that time, the situations and the conditions that existed, (and as far as I know still exist), at the Exodus member ministry where these situations occurred, were such that minors were at risk for potential harm.
In our conversation, Alan also expressed concern along with his intention to create guidelines that would ensure the safety of youth under Exodus member ministries' care.
At that time I told Alan that I believe it is inappropriate and harmful to do any sort of ex-gay therapy on youth and with youth, particularly against their will. Knowing that Exodus will continue to do so, it is necessary that they do everything in their power to protect these young people.
The non-violent work that I do involves attempting to connect with people to create a "win-win" situation if at all possible. Building relationships, shedding assumptions, believing the best in people are all part of my Christian testimony. Joe Brummer outlines some of these non-violent steps in his most recent post. I don't hate Alan or Exodus. I have used much restraint in hopes of seeing real change.
Some of us who feel we have been wounded by the ex-gay ministries and the anti-gay church may have sometimes wish to do them harm and to think the worse, to malign them the way that we feel they malign the LGBT community. For me Jesus' teachings is that I should seek to do good and speak out against injustice but not exact revenge.
Perhaps some people would love there to be a major Exodus scandal. I want to see one avoided.
Alan has the power to keep young people from being harmed under his watch. He shared that he will bring forth new guidelines that will protect youth. I believe these should minimally include:
- Complete separation of youth and adult participants at all Exodus member programs and Exodus sponsored events.
- Full background checks for all staff working with youth.
- No youth should be enrolled in a program against his or her will.
Comments
I'm just shocked at how dismissive Exodus and Alan appear to be, especially when the integrity of their organisation is at stake. Maybe they can dismiss my assumptions of them, and actually show concern about their own integrity, but I just have the feeling that even if they do it on this occasion, it won't be taken to heart.
I wish you best of luck in your endeavors. You are doing amazing work - keep it up. And I sincerely hope that last guideline becomes enforced.
I'm not agreeing with the "against their will" part either. Just commenting. :)
Maybe we can talk soon!
love,
pam
I have taught nonviolence to community groups and again, it is hard to prove to them it works.
You have given me the opportunity to show them real life evidence that nonviolence works. I am confident that Alan Chambers will do the right thing. I believe you are on Step Number 5 of Direct Action to apply gentle pressure on Exodus to do the right thing. I know this will work. Mostly I am happy the goal is reconciliation with Alan. When these guidelines are put into place Exodus wins, We win, and more importantly the kids win...it is a win-win and no one walks away bitter. It is these steps that create peace even in cultual wars. When we cannot all agree on things, we must negotiate for the best to bring about the Beloved community.
I love the statement from Gandhi....Nonviolence is not about bringing your adversary to their knees, but bring them to their sense. I am so happy you are working towards such a compassionate outcome.
Much love and admiration.
Joe
liadan, you may be right about that. We shall see and hope.
steve, thanks you are a so helpful to me.
scotmagicman, so glad Brummer's piece was helpful. It is Martin Luther King, JR weekend here in the states, so his Brummer's words are timely. I think I may do a post about King and his non-violence mentor, Bayard Rustin, a wonderful Queer Quaker Black man who has been almost lost in history.
m, thanks, can't wait to see your blog.
grace, I know! You would think with an organization as large as Exodus with such close ties to Focus on the Family that they would be better prepared for the work they do. But it may reveal the heart of their ministry that it is not about helping people who are looking for help but rather pushing an agenda that is more political than spiritual.
Okay, time to go to bed!
Nor are we qualified to decide whether incidents are of interest to state regulators.
Those decisions are ONLY for regulators, judges and courts to decide.
Did Toscano report the offenses to qualified authorities, as he is ethically obligated to do?
If someone has done something that I am sure is not criminal activity, even though it may be very very wrong and harmful, I have no "ethical obligation" to report it to the authorities, especially when they aren't going to do anything.
There are many things that are clearly not criminal but are still wrong and should not be happening in churches and ministries and I think that it's possible that people can make those assessments.
I have seen many things go on in churches or Christian ministries that are just plain wrong and hurt other people, including youth. But that doesn't mean they are criminal. Hell, even dragging your kid to Love In Action isn't criminal (unfortunately).
I think that Peterson knows what the laws are, and I think that if he knew about something that was criminal activity he would have reported it as such to the authorities.
(by the way, out of curiousity, why post on someone's blog and not address the questions personally?)
But I have to agree with liadan's statement about how they probably won't agree with the third guideline. I mean, parents could coach their children to say that they want to go into the programs even if they are totally against it. Their parents could threaten them that if they don't go to the program, they will be kicked out. I know some people who, if that was their ultimatum, they would choose to go into the programs as opposed to being strong and making their own decisions about that kind of thing. Parents can be very manipulative to their children, and Exodus might be able to trick youth into entering their program by saying that they offer things that "regular" teens appreciate. That promise of inclusion could be intoxicating to youth who just don't feel like they fit in anywhere else. Believe me -- I used to be that kind of kid. But I'm not anymore, for the record, and I'm much happier for it.
That said, after discussing this with Peterson in more detail, I am confident now that he is handling this situation correctly and responsibly. Should I have further concerns however, I won't hesitate to call him ;)