Dispelling the Rumors

Ever since I mentioned that I will announce BIG NEWS on Monday April 2nd, lots of folks have come forward to share their thoughts (fantasies?) I feel for the sake of my personal integrity, I have to address these rumors directly.

Tom D. writes, Tom Cruise saw you on tv. He was SO MOVED that he:
1) came out (finally);
2) bought the film rights to your life story;
3) and will be starring in the movie, as you.

Well, I am sure Mr. Cruise saw me on TV. As you know, Tom D, and regularly point out, I am a queer Quaker media whore who seems to pop up on TV every few hours (which is actually true over at Current TV for the next few weeks.) Tom, you know full well that I would never like someone as old as Cruise portray me on the screen. Plus he refused to shave his hair.

KJ's rumor is much more plausible based on my egocentric multiple personalities,

I heard that they're going to make a movie of Peterson's life, and he's going to play ALL the roles. There was some trouble during negotiating compensation since Peterson thought each character should receive his or her own salary.

But this too is another false rumor.
Abbyladybug raises a lot of interesting questions,

Are you gonna be on Oprah?!! A major book deal? A TV movie of your life? Are you dating some major celeb who has yet to publicly come out?

To which I answer--1. Not yet, 2. Not yet, 3. Not yet, 4. Excuse me but I am already dating myself thank-you-very-much.

Alex projects his own male Swedish domination persona by proposing,

I am more than certain that your big thing will be the announcement of your inevitable future as a resident Swede.

Tempting, but I am not ready to make that announcement yet, although my Swedish improves all the time and I will be there for at least a week in May--yay!

Probably the most compelling rumor, and the one that will most likely raise the Queer Terror Alert to bright pink for folks at Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcast Network is KJ's full-blown rumor,

I heard that Peterson is going to start a cable network -- "Gay Christian Broadcast Network". Each day, there will be live programming with fabulous, baroque sets. Momma will host and wear lavender wigs.

Due to financial restraints, Peterson will use several of his alternative personalities to host each program in the GCBN line up. Marvin will be manning the phones to take prayer requests and accept donations. Robert Tilton out takes will be shown after midnight.

I love the thought of Marvin taking on the prayer requests. Just perfect.

KJ, who must have far too much time on his hand or else has a personal agenda to create new projects for me, posted a few more saucy suggestions here.

All lovely rumors but friends, you are COLD, very cold. Not even close. So if you want, check in this blog about midnight Sunday night to hear the official word about the BIG NEWS. I will give you one hint though...the BIG NEWS has something to do with me and a lesbian, a partnership...(bwaa keep the rumors coming.)