Ah, Marvin. Some of you may remember, Marvin Bloom, our favorite Jew-for-Jesus from Long Island, NY, is no longer ex-gay. See this post of his video announcement. Apparently Marvin has taken to the gay lifestyle with evangelistic zeal (gay lifestyle as in wearing tacky rainbow clothing and attending Pride Parades and bashing straights).
In this video he gives us an update and his very own pride message.
Of course this over the top embrace of all things gay commonly happens to those of us who crammed ourselves into closet, cupboards and wardrobes all those years. We burst out of those confined places, and suddenly we see the world through rainbow lenses.
It is not unlike the born-again experience, especially if one converts as a young adult. I remember dashing to the Salt Shaker, the local Christian bookstore, where I bought all manner of Jesus products. Not just books and music, I purchased Jesus pencils, Jesus t-shirts, Jesus glue sticks, etc. We see this same expression of new identity pride with impulse purchases during Pride events with those stalls that sell all that rainbow schlock. "No, thank you, I do not need a rainbow dream catcher with the rainbow candle holder attachment."
In the Stages of Coming Out, in Stage V we may exhibit lots of pride in our new-found identity. Marvin seems very much in Stage V Identity Pride,
In this video he gives us an update and his very own pride message.
Of course this over the top embrace of all things gay commonly happens to those of us who crammed ourselves into closet, cupboards and wardrobes all those years. We burst out of those confined places, and suddenly we see the world through rainbow lenses.
It is not unlike the born-again experience, especially if one converts as a young adult. I remember dashing to the Salt Shaker, the local Christian bookstore, where I bought all manner of Jesus products. Not just books and music, I purchased Jesus pencils, Jesus t-shirts, Jesus glue sticks, etc. We see this same expression of new identity pride with impulse purchases during Pride events with those stalls that sell all that rainbow schlock. "No, thank you, I do not need a rainbow dream catcher with the rainbow candle holder attachment."
In the Stages of Coming Out, in Stage V we may exhibit lots of pride in our new-found identity. Marvin seems very much in Stage V Identity Pride,
Feel arrogance/pride in new identity and deep rage toward majority culture. May adopt/heighten stereotypical behaviors or characteristics (i.e. "I'm different and proud of it!". May isolate self from mainstream values and activities.Question: Do Straight Allies goes through these same stages?
Comments
The other downside is that often I don't really feel like I fit into any community. The Christian community think I am a heretic and the gay community see me as being something 'other'. However, I feel that over recent years the latter community has been the one that has more accepted me on face value and given me the opportunity to be the real me. The ongoing work in progress is for me to integrate my faith, beliefs, sexuality, and to embrace my 'otherness'. For me the 'coming out' process meant that the real me reared its head and I truly desired to let people see who I really am; to be integrated, genuine and most importantly, authentic :)
So, the short answer (after a very long answer) to your question is yes, I think straight allies go through similar stages.
I think this sums up my dilemma perfectly.
There have certainly been times when I have envied my gay and lesbian friends. After going through the pain and difficulty of coming out, at least they have somewhere to belong. I feel like I am constantly going through the process without ever reaching that feeling of belonging!!
Auntie,
FIrst of all, thank you for being an "ally." I have been wondering about who you are, how you identify, just picking up bits and pieces of you from Peterson's blogs. Now I 'know' you are a "straight, Christian GLBT ally" (so there's a start).
Doris, I think what you experience is the price of authenticity. It is the cost of being a leader, an innovator, vs. a follower, a rubber stamp... a sheep. I think you will find your "community" with other people like yourself (GLBT and straight) who refuse to be identified by a static label because they are dynamic people, and understand that people are always more than the sum of any definition.
over the last 3 years or so i felt myself go through a period of 'coming out' of my own. it's complex but i am slowly beginning to feel free-er to exist as myself in this vicious world. some things that would not have been problematic to others have been hugely so for me due to one thing or another. my journey to straight-allyhood would be as a direct result of the overriding feeling of astonishment that, in a world that throws seemingly random difficulties at us, people can't just let people BE and be free to live and love the best they are able.
auntie doris, you can be in my community if you like :) xx
Paul, thank you for your kind words. They made great sense to me and I totally agree with you about being community with those people who are not static. That feels both terrifying and thrilling at the same time!
Seems like a lot is happening in your life, Marv, take it easy, and I hope you'll find a good place to be in the end.
Peterson, just catching up with your blog now, good to read about how you're doing. :)