Peterson Toscano's A Musing

Earlier this year with the help of a lesbian Friend of mine from Colombia, we started a Spanish language blog, Dos Equis . Dos cristianos escriben sobre su fe y sus deseos homosexuales (Two Christians write about their faith and their same-sex desires). There are very few Spanish resources for gay Christians. Unlike my English language blog, the vast majority of people who find Dos Equis do so through a Google search. What repeatedly shocks me is the recurring theme in the search phrases people use, searches that I rarely see in English. In the last 100 visitors, they used the following phrases in their searches: como identificar a un homosexual (how to identify a homosexual) como saber si mi esposo es homosexual (how to know if my spouse is homosexual) esposa lesbiana (lesbian wife) como se si mi pareja es homosexual (how to know if my partner is homosexual) como saber si tu pareja es gay (how to know if your partner is gay) como identificar a un hombre homosexual (how to identif...

This LA Times news story cheered me. The soon to be president of Pat Robertson's Christian Coalition stepped down over a differences with the organization's focus. Joel C. Hunter wanted to move away from the over-emphasis on gay marriage and abortion and broaden the focus to environmental issues and poverty. The Rev. Joel C. Hunter, who was scheduled to become president of the coalition Jan. 1, said his departure was sparked by "just a basic philosophical difference …. I saw an opportunity to really broaden the conversation and broaden the constituency. I'm really over this whole polarization thing." "I think the board just got scared," said Hunter, senior pastor of a mega-church in central Florida and the author of "Right Wing, Wrong Bird: Why the Tactics of the Religious Right Won't Fly With Most Conservative Christians." Roberta Combs, who is the incumbent president of the coalition and presides over its board, said that the board of di...

Since I will not provide you with my sparkling wit and crystal clear profound insight into furries and horror movies and vegetable yeast paste products for the next month, I thought that in addition to the many fine links I already have listed, I'd share with you some blogs and sites you might like. Of course leave comments with some of your own suggestions. Christ, the Martyr Stuffed Animal's blogsite of enlightenment for God's beloved lesbian and gay children Vegan Porn News and Information for Vegans who get it (Note: there is no actual porn on this site) The Buffy and Angel Trivia Guide The site contains thousands of pieces of Buffy the Vampire Slayer-related trivia, organised into various categories and sub-categories, and fully inter-linked Black Looks Four women from around the world writing about culture, politics, feminism, Africa and more Big Closet A friendly place to read, write and discuss transgender fiction The Quaker Agitator A convinced Quaker, a husband...

I have my last US show tomorrow night at Ramapo College in Mahwah, NJ, then on Saturday I fly out to Scotland where I will be until January 10, 2007. I don't have any shows set up for this tour, just a few meetings with various groups and individuals. The purpose of this trip is mostly pleasure with lots of quiet work mixed in. I have loads of writing I want to do, I wish to see about getting some of Marvin's posts put together on a CD or even a podcast, and I need to prepare for a very busy 2007. Therefore, I may not blog so much. In fact, I am considering limiting my on-line time significantly (shudder) so that I can get other things done and I can relax. I think I might post a photo a day though, but no promises. If I don't visit your blog or respond to an e-mail during this time, please don't take it personally. It is time for me to regroup, refresh and renew. Happy, Merry, Joyous Whatever!

Tom Murray sent me a link to the AfterElton.com article Gay People of Faith Come Out of the Closet . Gay Christians, lesbian Muslims, queer Jews and bisexual Buddhists have always been here. But now, gay people of faith are finally stepping out of the shadows and into the media spotlight. --SNIP-- These new images of religious gays — in film, TV, books, press coverage and on the Web — give a more nuanced depiction of GLBT people as well as faith. Many demonstrate, like Stranger at the Gate , the destructive conflict between religious doctrine and sexual desire. But more and more, these images are becoming unshackled from past bigotries, showing gay people how to accept love and faith, and find their own spiritual journey. The article goes on to discuss various films including Murray's Fish Can't Fly .

You know there is a Jesus out there for everyone. In addition to the traditional Anglo-Saxon Jesus, we can now see a film about a Black Jesus . I particularly like Chinese images of Jesus and the Jesus Buddha . We tend to create God in our own image or at one in which we can relate. While leaving a comment on Jay's blog , I got to thinking about Jesus as Furry. Some of you may know of people who refer to themselves as furries. According to Wikipedia , Furry fandom is an artistic and literary genre related to the hybridization of humans and (other) animals, combining traits and characteristics, specifically in cartoons and comics. I am no expert here, but some Furries even dress up as animals and interact at social gatherings and conventions . They also draw fan fiction and develop on-line identities and relationships. Because of a now infamous CSI episode where they portrayed Furries as sex crazed men and women dress as animal killers, they have gotten a bad rap. One of my forme...

Regular visitor and one of Marvin's favorite targets , Willie Hewes was accused of pushing the gay agenda through her comics . Of course this is nothing new for Willie who created the moving Free Z comic. Of course Bruce Garrett blatantly pushes the agenda as seen with the release of part eight of his Coming Out Story.

Exodus' bold attempts to target youth remind me of a horror movie I saw during my teens. Daniel at Ex-Gay Watch reports that ex-gay leaders Alan Chambers & Scott Davis will speak next summer at the Ignite Student Outreach camp. Speaking of Alan Ignite's site boasts that, He offers unique insight into how homosexuality personally affects individuals and the broader culture. Alan will share advice and training with youth workers at camp to teach them how to address this epidemic issue . Going to bed with that story on my mind, I woke up repeatedly. By morning I remembered the details of Sleepaway Camp , the scariest and most shocking movie I had ever seen, particularly as a young queer kid. Plot summary of the 1983 film Sleepaway Camp : After a horrible boating accident kills her family, Angela, a shy and sullen young girl, moves in with her eccentric aunt Martha, alongside her protective cousin Ricky. One summer, Martha sends the kids to Camp Arawak. Soon after their ar...

By now many folks know about the anti-Black reports spewed by the American comic actor, Michael Richards , AKA Seinfeld's Kramer. In response to being heckled at a comedy club by some Black patrons, Richards unloaded anti-Black remarks from the stage for over two minutes. One patron captured it on video . (Those pesky new fangled phones!) Richards quickly hired a crisis management expert , and went out of his way to assert that he is no racist, even appearing on Jesse Jackson's radio program to explain that as a child some of his best friends were black. (I am not joking). Lots of white folks have warily come to his defense, and an "discussion" has begun on the airwaves as to whether Richards is racist or just his remarks. Some promise that good will come of all this. I have heard almost nothing about this issue from the LGBT media/bloggers and from Christian folks, (Oh, other than a piece in the Christian Post where they highlight a Black minister who blames Black ...

My society conditioned me. As soon aa a proud mother or father hands over their new born baby for me to hold, I reflexively demand, What is it? As if the sex of the child will change the way I hold her or him or them. Perhaps it is a basic human need to determine the sex of another or simply a bad societal habit we've developed? I do the same thing with adults. Just the other day with my niece, an androgynous looking person passed us, and I immediately turned to my niece, Was that a guy or a girl? Why do I need to know? I don't even have a relationship with the person. Just a stranger passing by. Wanna read more? Alex writes a post entitled Male Mumble in which he reflects on terms he can use to describe non-trans men. So what to call them? The male ones that never did any changing? Birth-males? But I have known forever that I wanted to be a boy and research tells us the transconfusion probably comes long before we are born. So transdudes are birth-males as well. XY-men? Wel...

On the return roadtrip on my little Treo™ 700P, my mind wanders. Recently I saw all three Lord of the Rings films. In the cinema, the story, the effects and one very fine elf dazzled me. Seeing it again, this time on the small screen, I noticed problems with the films I previously missed. First let me say I adore JRR Tolkien and feel that director Peter Jackson did breathtaking work. That said, both Tolkien and Jackson have their flaws. In reading the books, I always notice that Tolkien portrays the bad guys as people (or creatures) of color or else working class cockney stiffs. The greater the virtue of the character, the whiter they appear and the posher they sound. Jackson replicates and expands on this. He also plays up all the phallic imagery of towers and swords. Aragon has the largest, thus once he whips it out, he becomes king. To Jackson's credit, he does expand the roles of heroic women. But Jackson's greatest flaw is how he ends the film with a return to the prist...

Robert Kopecky , a friend who draws and designs for Cartoon Network , recently did the graphics and background for Amanda Saah Baehr's flash film, Dad I'm Not Gay . Robert also does the voice of the dad. The dad in the short tries so hard to be accepting of his "gay daughter". Only one problem. Although she is wonderfully alternative, she happens to be heterosexual. But I guess it could be much worse. Much worse.

Spending Thanksgiving in the Mid-West, the land of meat and dairy, I did fairly well without having to consume animal products or getting testy over the lack of quality vegan foods. On the road with my dad getting to my sister's home, I did have a moment of frustration at a diner somewhere in the MidWest. After analyzing the menu for nearly 10 minutes and finding NOTHING vegan, I thought I'd appeal to the waitress. Me: I don't eat anything with meat, dairy, eggs or fish. Waitress: What DO you eat? Me: Apparently nothing on your menu. I ended up ordering french fries. I ate them believing in the illusion that they were gently cooked in 100% vegetable oil that never had anything but other veggie friendly items in them. My sister and her family have their own small farm with 12 head of Scottish Highland Cattle and seven Fainting Goats , (yes, they really faint if they are spooked). Persephone had babies the same day I arrived and I got to hold one. They also have a GI...

Reading one of Alex's post s, I got inspired. Some years ago I actively belonged to a large and growing Pentecostal church in NYC's theater district. We talked a lot about God's working in our lives. God's telling me to... Thus saith the Lord... God opened the door to... God closed the window to... (God fiddled around a lot with the doors and windows of our lives back then) Perhaps God did speak to me as directly as I imagined. It sure felt good knowing that I had divine sanction to do what I did, and that I could say no to something asked by a mere human without having to feel bad about it. Luis : Brother Peterson, we're getting together on Saturday night to prepare the sanctuary for Sunday service. Can you join us? Peterson : I'd love to, Brother Luis, but God is calling me to spend time alone with Him in praise and worship on Saturday. Sort of a praise date. How could Luis possibly counter that? I heard lots of people talk about their God. "God took Flu...

Is this an early Hanukkah gift from the transgender God or what! (You do know that God was the first transgender being, right?) This summer the most fabulously insightful and insanely funny performance artist and genderqueer wonder Kate Bornstein started a blog. Kate includes audio and droll humor. Check out. Kate Bornstein's Blog for Teens, Freaks and Other Outlaws hat tip Jennifer Burke .

Today I spent 12 hours traveling cross country with my dad. Before we left, I thought of all the funky things I would have to blog based on the stuff that comes out of my dad's mouth. But by hour six, I realized that this was a special day, something private just for the two of us. I've learned that some things can be public while others need to be private. For all that I tell my story on stage, in this blog and elsewhere, I don't share everything. I don't mention every significant person in my life or each encounter that I have. This includes aspects of my work. I regularly meet with conservative church leaders, ex-gays, and ex-gay leaders. Almost always we meet privately, and unless we agreed in advance, I do not share details of the meeting or that we even met. When I meet with a pastor of an influential conservative church in the UK, he knows I won't tell others what we discuss. Same when I contact ex-gay leaders. These privates meetings give us an opportunity...

I posted a little while back about how a Christian campus group at Edinburgh University had offered a course called Pure, which along with teachings on sexual abstinence, apparently also states that gay sexual relationships are wrong and that gay folks can change. After protests from students, college officials stopped the group from teaching the course on campus. Some conservative Christian leaders are crying foul stating that their freedom of speech is being violated. According to Scotsman.com , Peter Kearney, a spokesman for the Catholic Church in Scotland, said: "This is nothing more than blind and unthinking political correctness." A university spokeswoman said the course was "contradictory to our equality and diversity values" and not appropriate to run on university or Students Association premises. Loads of folks are commenting on the news report, most not listening to each other (what else is new). In response I commented, I have mixed feelings all around...

Today marks the 8th annual Transgender Day of Remembrance . The Transgender Day of Remembrance was set aside to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. The event is held in November to honor Rita Hester, whose murder in 1998 kicked off the Remembering Our Dead web project and a San Francisco candlelight vigil in 1999. Since then, the event has grown to encompass memorials in dozens of cities across the world. Jennifer Burke provides links to powerful videos, blogs and web sites that look at gender-based crimes, current laws and studies.

After reading about Pam and Jay 's updates of web links on their blogs, I felt compelled to do update my own. I decided to list all the sites I monitor daily. (Thank the Internet gods for RSS feeds!) They are NOT in order of importance, and I did not create headings and categories to help organize them. Mostly because I was too lazy and worried that I would mess something up with the html code, but also because I don't necessarily see these sites as "gay," "ex-gay," "Quaker," "gay Christian," etc. It's fine if someone does, but I think in a more holistic way. When considering joining a Quaker web ring and then when discussing a particular post that a Friend thought I had wanted placed on a Quaker aggregate site, I discovered that some do not consider my blog a "Quaker site". They define Quaker sites as ones written by Quakers addressing Quakerism exclusively. And judging by that definition, my site is NOT Quaker. I am a Qu...

I inspired art! Daniel Gonzales over at Ex-Gay Watch took my post about Exodus' Randy Thomas on the Adam Carolla show and made a groovy cool video that he uploaded to Youtube. Randy proclaimed that Exodus does not force people to attend any of their "140" ministries here in North America. Daniel is hip enough to envision a video like this and yet still geeky enough to make it happen.

In addition to my Apple iBook G4 laptop and my newly acquired Treo™ 700P pda, today I inherited my mother's Royal Quiet DeLuxe manual typewriter. This is the same typewriter used by writer, Bernard Malamud . It was also one of Hemmingway's favorites . It comes with a sturdy carrying case for travel. Below is my first manually typed blog entry, (with only one typo!) Click on the image for a larger view.

Timothy Kincaid over at Ex-Gay Watch may be preparing us for a major exposé on the hostile overthrow of Exodus International by an aggrieved heterosexual. In three scathing back to back posts, Timothy reveals the evil workings of Nancy Brown, the heterosexual woman (and wife of an ex-gay) who is the principal propagandist, um writer, for Exodus' media blog and the author of much of their FAQ pages. According to Timothy, "Exodus International has turned much of their public voice over to Nancy Brown". Are we about to see a bloodless coup? Will Nancy Brown, a woman who has endured a 30 year marriage to an ex-gay man, take the reins of Exodus and whip the girly men into shape? Will she publicly skewer Randy Thomas for boldly asserting that Exodus will not take in homos against their will? (As if our woefully fallen and failed wills matter) Either Timothy has the skinny on what is about to take place at Exodus or perhaps his rant reveals he has Nancy Brown issues he still...

Right now I am on a bus that's jerking me along from NYC heading to the Catskills, NY where I will visit my Dad, my sister Maria and her family. On Monday (or Tuesday depending on the weather) Dad & I will begin a two day road trip halfway across the US to visit my sister, Nardina and her family for Thanksgiving. Those who know my dad from blog entries and my portrayal of him in Homo No Mo and Fish Can't Fly know that he is a character who blurts out hilarious things yet insight gems. He also travels with a trunk (aka boot for the Brits. I try so hard to be inclusive) full of bread, doughnuts, cakes and muffins that he gets from a bakery outlet. He then randomnly gifts people with them. Complete strangers. Gas station attendents. Toll booth operators. People on the street. He is the Johnny Appleseed of carbs. How does the nursery song go? "Do you know the Muffin Man, the Muffin Man, the Muffin Man?" Yeah, he's my dad. Actually we call him the Bread Man, and a...

I was thinking about when I lived as a missionary in Zambia and a discussion I had with some pastors about the problem of polygamy in the Zambian churches. One pastor stated, "You Americans condemn when an African man has more than one wife, yet you take multiple wives. The only difference is that you marry one at a time. You divorce one and exchange her for another." Joe G. says the practice is called Serial Monogamy . Thinking about that conversation somehow I began to think about my church attendance/membership history. Raised Roman Catholic, as a teen, I became a born-again Christian and joined a Fudamentalist independent Bible church. Next at a Christian college, I attended an Evangelical Non-denominational church. After a few months on the mission field in Ecuador, I moved to NYC, got baptized in the Holy Spirit (spoke in tongues) and became an active member in a full-Gospel charismatic church. After a few years there I moved onto a larger pentecostal church run by...

Randy Thomas, Exodus' Director of Membership appeared for a radio interview on the Adam Carolla Show . They invited Randy under the guise of asking him questions about the Ted Haggard situation, but really they just went after him for his ex-gay lifestyle and his role in "change" ministries. Regardless of their intent, they ended up getting Randy to talk about Exodus' ministry and mission. Randy makes it clear that Exodus does not force people to attend their ministries. Randy: We provide help for those who have unwanted homosexuality live their lives in a way congruent with their faith. Carolla: So you have to not want to be gay. You can't be wrestled in by a family member. You have to want to be in this program. Randy: Absolutely. We respect a person's right to self-determination. snip Carolla: So Randy, How many people, how many successful folks do you think your company has dealt with over the years? Randy: Our ministry has been around for 30 years. ...

Former ex-gay Shawn O'Donnell got to hear Exodus International president Alan Chambers speak on Tuesday for Safe Space the ex-gay group that meets at the Willow Creek Community Multiplex, um Church in Barrington, IL (near Chicago). Alan recognized Shawn, chatted with him during the break between the talk and questions, then fielded Shawn's questions. When we were allowed to ask questions I raised my hand quickly. Alan responded, "yes Shawn" Shawn says --- Alan you said multiple times that your Dad was absent in your life and because of that you feel that it emasculated you making you more effeminte or you grew more attached to your mother and that is what made you gay. If so why aren't your brothers gay? Alan says --- Well its very complicated I believe there are more than one contributing factors to me being gay. Does that answer your question? Shawn says -- No, what about your brothers. Alan says --- Well, they have problems too, but their problems are diffe...

Many of you who frequent this blog have seen the comments left by Elliot. I met Elliot earlier this year at the True Colors Conference and become more and more impressed with Elliot's wisdom, warmth and insight. 17 years old, Elliot takes on issues that many adults can't begin to wrap their heads around. Recently Elliot began blogging about the experience of being a trans teen. Elliot writes , My gender has been a topic weighing heavily on my thoughts for years. It's been really difficult for me to deal with because my family hasn't really been there for me as much as I would have appreciated them to be. I suppose I can't really talk so badly about them, though--they're still trying. It's just hard to be a Trans. kid. As difficult as it was when I was all I worried about was my sexuality, it's probably about 100 times harder now that my gender has come into the equation. Not everything's bad, though. I've made a bunch of great friends since I be...

I hear many conservative anti-gay Christians announce, We believe what the Bible has to say about homosexuality. No, you believe what your pastor says the Bible says about homosexuality. With the "gay issue", many (most?) conservative anti-gay Christians walk around with blinders. They refuse to seek God on the matter. They leave it in the hands of man, and more specifically heterosexual men to interpret a few passages. Too often their leaders interpret the passages based on bias, not on a careful search for truth. We provide ourselves with reasonable filters when looking at certain passages-- Women should be silent in church with their heads covered. Slaves must obey masters. We look at these passages and account for vast differences of culture and history. We can also understand how some men in power used these very passages to silence women and enslave men, women and children from Africa. Yet with the passages that seem to speak against people lesbians, gays and bisex...

Now that I have my new Treo™ 700P, I have no need to get out of bed. I can do my e-mailing, web surfing, listen to streaming audio and even blog horizontally in my pjs. Alex says that in Swedish "treo" means asprin. Well my Treo™ eases the pain of morning by allowing me to extend bed time into the mid-afternoon as God intended. (Surely there is a scripture that covers this critical topic) Most people do not get enough sleep, so I feel I must model healthy sleeping habits for the sleep deprived. But eventually I will deem it necessary to crawl out of my duvet-like cocoon and enter the world of the awakened. Today is a library day for me in which I hope to blog a piece about homosexuality and the Bible as well as a long overdue Spanish blog entry over at Dos Equis . But for now I will roll over and sleep another hour.

After replacing two Treo™ 650s with yet another one that has the same problems (rebooting & locking during operation), Verizon replaced my newest 650 with the Treo™ 700P. I like the new streaming radio and the ability to download podcasts, at least shorter ones. I think I will download all of Marvin's posts. Maybe I can even download Joe G's fabulous podcast (no extortion in that endorsement although in his post-Quaker persona, Joe has much more of an edge.) Quiet day. I slept under the influence of allergy meds during the 4.5 hour flight from Vegas. I got home and slept another 4 hours. Phew, I got my precious 8 hours! This afternoon I met with my Support Committee, three folks from my local Quaker meeting who met with me monthly about the work that I do for the past three years. They help me get clarity on issues that arise and assist me with staying focused on my mission. This time we discussed at length about asking the monthly, quarterly and yearly meetings to appro...

Where they have slot machines in the airport. Heading home on the Red Eye to Hartford. Alex tells me that in Swedish, "red eye" means very angry and ready to murder someone. Really it is not that bad. GREAT final day in Palm Springs. The highlight was meeting up with Eric over at Two World Collision. We ate at the excellent organic vegan restaurant, Native Foods . I actually ate there three times this weekend, a place where EVERYTHING on the menu is vegan. I ended up ordering far too much food in hopes of trying everything. Eric asked me a question about my Quaker practice and what I think about when I sit in silent worship. He wrote about our meeting and had this to say about his question and my answer. I asked him today if the silent prayer is more like just thinking the prayer rather than speaking it verbally or if it's more like clearing the mind and not saying anything. He said that there are instances where it could be both but most of the time it's clearing t...

Candace Chellew over at Whosoever.org interviewed me a few months ago about my ex-gay experiences and my performance work. In her most recent podcast, presents my interview and also an interview with Wayne Besen, writer of the book Anything But Straight--Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth and the founder of the new organization Truth Wins Out . The ninth podcast, or "Godcast" from Whosoever: An Online Magazine for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Christians, features interviews with two men intimately involved with so-called "ex-gay ministries" - but actor and writer Peterson Toscano and activist and author Wayne Besen have two different approaches to fighting the "ex-gay" industry. It amazes me how many people (ex-gay, ex-ex-gay, gay) are terrified by Wayne Besen. Of course I have never seen him in action in front of the cameras, but having had meals with him and meeting privately, I am always impressed with his passion, intell...

What a GREAT time at the Love Breaks Out Conference in Palm Springs, CA. Pictured here are Peggy Campolo , Momma (aka Worthie Paul Meacham) and me after my show last night. Momma "opened" for me (and we are thinking of doing a show together in March!) Come on, a fabulous born-again Christian drag queen at the conference. Top that Dobson! Daniel Gonzales came all the way from Long Beach for the event just to take this photo (and have dinner with me). Joe G. dashed my hopes and nursed a cold (or some man he picked up) all weekend and could not come. Today I hung out with Jennifer and Tim who first heard of my work through a Quaker podcast interview , then came to my show in LA in June (the very hottest day of the year). We met up for Thai food as a Veteran's day parade lumbered by. Talk is in the air for a future Love Breaks Out Event in another city in January. Will keep you posted.

Autumn Sandeen, a new contributor at Ex-Gay Watch who is trans, began a series on gender in the ex-gay movement. Her post today is a useful Transgender / Ex-Transgender Glossary . I have a fairly new line about trans folks that I scripted for my Homo No Mo play. Chad, an ex-gay bio male participant in the program talks about the two houses where participants are housed. Men are in the Caleb House and "girls" in the Hannah House. He then adds, "There is one other house. That's where they house, um, Terry. (pause) Yeah they are not quite sure yet which house to put Terry in. They're not really equipped to deal with trans issues here in the Homo No Mo Halfway House, which according to Terry is actually very similar to the gay community itself. (pause) So for now Terry has Terry's own house." Also, Marvin Bloom made a surprise appearance last night in my presentation of Doin' Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House here in Palm Springs. He spoke about how h...

I ran over God with my car today. I guess I wasn't paying attention and as I turned the corner, He stepped off the curb right into my path. Really he was at fault. He should have paid more attention. And how He howled--as if He weren't eternal. I mean He can bounce right back if He wants. Instead He made a big fuss. He got His blood everywhere. I had to call an ambulance and actually went to the hospital to make sure everything was okay. Crazy He didn't even have insurance. Fortunately it was an emergency or else they would have turned Him away. So strange seeing God with tubes up his nose and an IV in his arm. He looked so frail, so useless. Of course I feel terrible about the whole thing. God will be out of commission for weeks. The work piles up so quickly. Guess we will have to pick up the slack. I told God that I would help Him around the house once they discharge Him. He didn't even hear me. He was all caught up with Judge Judy on the TV, and he was still groggy f...

This year I met trans people who have helped shape the way I see the world and listen. It is like I have new ears that now begin to pick up gender oppression coming from channels I never expected. Just this week, I felt shocked and unsettled by words I heard and read, some coming from trusted sources. Seems even in "progressive" queer circles, gays and lesbians need to sort out their issues around gender. Our societies taught us severe rules in regards to gender presentation. Just like the ex-gay movement vehemently seeks to stamp out same-sex attraction and behavior (along with behavior and presentations that are not gender normal) many gay, lesbian and bisexual people insist that queer people must act "normal" in regards to gender, or they will be punished. Punishment comes in many forms but often begins with a look and a few words. Overheard at a street fair in Palm Springs. A very gay male/gay-friendly crowd gathered at this street fair on Thursday night. As I ...

Take a listen to Nillo's Night and his podcast of a Prayer Hotline . Just a tongue-in-cheek entry about what people sometimes confuse God for ... Oh, and I had this weird thought about what it would be like to run over God with a car. I will share it when I get a chance. So much to blog and so little time (besides if I blog too much, friends complain, "I can't keep up!" People, what are you doing all day at work when you should be reading blogs???)

Ah, the lies we believe. Whenever I mentioned to anyone that I was going to Palm Springs, I often received a concerned look and talk about wild fires. Amazing how the news can present the myth of a city engulfed in flames because of wild fires near by. These fires are real and affect people and land, but I see and smell no evidence of them here in the city of Palm Springs. Also, no sign of the leather crowd yet. Lots of lovely people, and I get to see Regan today (a commenter on Ex-Gay Watch who I finally met when I was in LA in June). We will talk about the sad events surrounding her friendship with and subsequent betrayal by Jemiel Terry, (which is also covered in the current issue of the Advocate magazine). Yes, gay people can do crappy things to each other. Today's Desert Sun newspaper has an article about the Love Breaks Out event tomorrow. Interviewing local resident, John Cooke, about his own ex-gay experiences, the following quote made me laugh out loud, particularly in li...

I am on a tiny plane, with a tiny keyboard, typing a tiny blog post. I am unusually friendly to strangers as I travel today. I am aways the grumpy guy with the ipod sleeping on flights. I do have a headache and gas, but not enough to dampen my spirits. Sadly I am forbidden to write about my bowel movements or I would have real news to share. Several friends who regularly hear my animated BM reports warned me that I must NEVER write about them on my blog. Hmmm, maybe I will start a new anonymous blog all about my BMs--with photos! Okay, taking off to the land of wrinkled men in leather and smoky weather--Palm Springs here I come!

The other day I received the following e-mail from Susanne, a woman who found out her some years ago that her husband has same-sex attractions. I felt so moved by her words that I asked her permission to share them with you on the blog. I (recently) saw your Doin Time... and I was the one who asked about your wife during the discussion period that followed. I just read your thoughts on What About the Spouse ....and I can say, most women who find out their husbands are gay feel ALL of those things you wondered about....some in more degrees than others... When my husband was dragged out of the closet because of his irreverent, immoral, and amoral behavior that our, then, 14 and 16 year old sons had to find on our home computer, I went into the closet. I didn't know what to pray for.... Do I pray that this will go away? Do I pray that he could go back to the way things were in our family before we knew about him,? Do I pray that I could go back to the way things were? After all ,...

I fly to the West Coast tomorrow for the Love Breaks Out event on Saturday in Palm Springs, CA (you are coming, right?) In addition to seeing my play (and my new Japanalia tunic I just bought for the trip), this is also Leather Weekend in Palm Springs. Yummy. Yeah, not the most vegan friendly event to be sure. Someone suggested I sport rubber in protest. I think nudity is a more appropriate response in a desert climate. Oh, and they have wild fires too! Come on, elderly men with strips of leather holding up bits of flesh, the air filled with acrid smoke AND the comic ministry of Peterson Toscano--priceless! I will be in Palm Springs Thur morning until Monday night, so if you can't make it to the event on Saturday, we can still meet up another day (Jon, Joe G, Daniel G, Eric, Tim, Heath Ledger--let's meet up!) I am currently blogging on my fairly new Treo™ PDA. I've actually had to replace it twice, but this one is holding up okay, and my fingers are getting used to the tiny...

By now nearly everyone with Internet, TV and newsprint access knows of the sudden fall from grace of Pastor Ted Haggard. The fall happened long ago; it just took time for a whistle blower to come forward to set the inevitable tragic events into motion. Surreal story--one we can gloat over--all the hypocrisy, the hubris, the injustice and ultimately justice in it. And of course people feel awful for the pastor's wife and five children. And those of us who have been members of a church with a fallen leader can feel for this congregation suddenly thrown into a crisis of faith. Reading of Ted Haggard's crash and burn story, I think of my own over 10 years ago. Nowhere nearly as big and important as Ted Haggard, still in the Evangelical world I inhabited, I was a leader, a respected minister, a husband and a trusted role model. I was the program manager of a Christian radio station in South Central Africa broadcasting English language Christian programs in large part because of the ...