Peterson Toscano's A Musing

Greg Morrisee, a cool UCC minister friend of mine near Boston e-mailed me, "The US Conference for the World Council of Churches to the 9th Assembly in Brasil wrote this letter that is absolutely incredible. Definitely worth reading and sharing. It's basically what the Christian Churches in the US are saying to the Christian Churches in the world. If only it were echoed... you know... anywhere." The vast majority of the peoples of the earth live in crushing poverty. The starvation, the HIV/AIDS pandemic, the treatable diseases that go untreated indict us, revealing the grim features of global economic injustice we have too often failed to acknowledge or confront. Our nation enjoys enormous wealth, yet we cling to our possessions rather than share. We have failed to embody the covenant of life to which our God calls us; hurricane Katrina revealed to the world those left behind in our own nation by the rupture of our social contract. As a nation we have refused to confron...

This just in from Chuck, a fellow queer Quaker who forwarded me the following article, A small group of priests in French-speaking Quebec has taken the rare step of openly criticizing the Catholic church for its opposition to same sex marriages and the ordination of active homosexuals. The 19 priests wrote a letter to Quebec's bishops complaining that the arguments used by the church "had caused confusion and disagreements" among the faithful. "Does the church necessarily have the last word on the mysteries of political, social, family and sexual life?" asked the letter, which was published in Sunday's edition of La Presse newspaper. "In these matters, the official teaching of the church has been shown to be wrong more than once." Read more at Reuters Canada

Eugene at Parodoxy reasons that even if conservative Christians followed what they say they believe about same-gender loving people, the Bible and Christ's commands to love, they fall far short of the mark and fail to show compassion. Read Eugene's Exam Time .

David Shelton just published a piece at Advocate.com in which he shares about Fred Phelps recent anti-gay ugliness while protesting "in Fort Campbell, Ky., to blame the gays for Iraq War casualties." Shelton shares "how the gay community found instant solidarity among Army wives and soldiers".

Any film focused on trangender folks will inspire controversy from all directions. Tom Murray , creator of Fish Can't Fly and Farm Familes--In Search of Gay Life in Rural America , just finished filming his latest film, Almost Myself--Stories of Gender Blending and Mending . So far he's been able to thoughtfully bring out human stories of queer folks on the farm and in the church. I can't wait to see the narratives he shares with us next. Check out the new site which includes a preview.

This weekend in St. Louis, MO Focus on the Family held their anti-gay road show Love Won Out which specifically targets parents who have or fear that have queer chilren as well as church youth workers. Colleen Keating , who atteneded a vigil outside the event, shares her thoughts . Despite what Alan Chambers said about our vigil, I thought that we succeeded in being quite positive: "Anonymous defamation from any party is offensive, but the public protest planned by the gay community is particularly disturbing," he said. "Contempt for those of us who have chosen to leave homosexuality behind is not an action consistent with the call for tolerance and diversity." What Chambers doesn't seem to understand is that none of us have "contempt" for the attendees (at least no one I spoke with). We felt badly for the young kids in the backseats of SUVs, looking down guiltily as they saw us--were their parents taking them to the event in the hopes of a "cur...

Over at myspace where I also posted my Mr. Hetero Parts One and Two , I got a visit from a very special guest, 21 year-old Jimmy Otino, the winner of the Mr. Hetero Contest. Jimmy left the following comments: First off, there is no power struggle here - There was a homosexual contest in California, so we put together a heterosexual contest! But, it was up to the media and the ignorant people of society to blow it all out of proportion and be in FEAR for themselves for being intolerated! And if you'd like the bible stories, here you are: 1corinthians 6:9-10 9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. Also, read Genesis 19. - This speaks of how God destroyed the land of Sodom, for it's homosexual sinfulness. We did not tip-toe around any...

Some folks express shock that an event like Mr. Hetero can take place in liberal Massachusets. As if intolerance and religious oppression only happens in rural Southern American towns. (A common slander coming from many Northerners). Actually knuckle heads live everywhere (just as there are broad-minded thoughtful folks everywhere). I spent 17 years seeking God to change me from my same-sex attractions, to transform me into a "man of God". For 10 of those "ex-gay" years, I lived in New York City. Not Little Rock, AR, Huntsville, AL or Odessa, TX, but in big bad Sodom itself. In fact, during that time I met scores of men (and some women) in NYC who attempted to live as straight-acting former homosexuals. I lived in NYC from 1985 to 1995 where I received all sorts of reparative therapy designed straighten me out. As a born-again Christian with homosexual desires, I easily found ministers and counselors in the city who helped me pursue change. In the late 1980’s I at...

My Day at the Mr. Heterosexual Pagent Boston's Weekly Dig paper sent reporter Michael Broduer to cover the event on Saturday. He refers to me as a sneaky gay activist. Because I showed up with a pregnant straight woman???

In which Marvin wonders aloud why this year he feels drawn to the Olympics and considers if it is because he is now a Christian and a Republican. Go Team America!

Although I wrote that this event was not outwardly "mean-spirited", I believe it was downright dangerous, particularly for youth. When I was a young person struggling with same-sex attractions, I often tried to decode behavior around me. How did normal guys operate? How did they greet each other? How did they walk, laugh, dress and how could I copy them? If I were my queer youth self sitting in the Mr. Hetero audience, here are some of the messages that I would have heard. The Events The Best Use of Duct Tape Highlights: men demonstrated how they used duct tape to remove lint from their clothing, trim down unsightly body hair and clean the gunk out of their belly buttons. What I learned: Straight men value self grooming albeit in a primitive fashion. Name the Food Where blindfolded straight men identified different junk foods by tasting them. Highlight: When Jimmy identified the first item to be Lays Original Potato Chips, Pastor Tom Crouse was not going to let that past...

Yep, I travelled an hour by car with my very pregnant friend C. to the M r. Hetero Contest held in Worcester, MA. So much to report on this event, but I don't have much time right now. (I'm on chemotherapy patrol this week--damn cancer!) Really it was a fascinating time. In essence Pastor Tom Crouse created a safe space for heterosexual men to be goofy and play around with what it means to be a heterosexual man. It was like a straight drag show, where straight men let their hair down and explored their straightness and to some degree their maleness. They loosened up their straight-jackets just enough to relax and have some fun. Of course they don't need a Mr. Hetero event to do that but so often straight white men feel constrained in expressing themselves and rarely take the opportunity to look into their heterosexuality and masculinity. I spoke with Pastor Tom after the event. He asked, "Was it mean-spirited?" I responded, no, I didn't get that sense, but I ...

In which Marvin reveals the outcome of his HIV test and muses whether he should share this information with his Sunday School class.

Actually, Joe at beppepodcast includes some of Marvin's reflections that Marvin previously posted here about the podcasting experience with Joe. Have a listen . Great music by Alivia Biko on Joe's show this week. To hear the original podcast, click here . No word from Marvin about his HIV test results. He posted a rant earlier, but no results. I thought for sure he would post something by now.

Diana sent me one of her poems. Thought you would enjoy it. To Be Counted There is a right of passage. That we all share in common. Whether you are gay, Or lesbian, Or bisexual, Or transgendered. When at one time or other, You must step forward, And declare, What your inner voice tells you. To step over the line, To be counted. To stand tall.

Where Marvin feels angry about maybe being HIV+ as he awaits his results but doesn't know who to be angry with. HIV/AIDS--a curse from God or a blessing in disguise???

Where Marvin begins to lose it as he waits for his HIV test results.

Recently on an Ex-Ex-gay Yahoo listserve group, I received a series of e-mails denouncing and trying to get their minds around a a Spanking for Jesus ministry (okay that is a gross generalization of the discussion). I cannot help but think how this relates to "ex-gay" ministries. If we consider Joe Kort 's words in the film Fish Can't Fly , that "ex-gay" therapy is a form of implicit sexual abuse, I see some similarities. Kort suggests that with "ex-gay" therapies someone in a position of authority (church or "ex-gay" leader) imposes his/her sexuality or concept of sexuality (heterosexual/"ex-gay") on someone who looks up to them for guidance and protection. Kort concludes that this is a form of sexual abuse, not explicit where people are physically molested, but implicit where someone uses their position to force a sexual belief onto another. When questioned, most "ex-gay" workers say they do what they do out of thei...

Tina shared with me a link to "a podcast about America’s obsession with race, with a specific emphasis on mixed race identity and interracial relationships." Haven't had a chance to listen to the epidsodes I've downloaded yet, but Tina recommends it, and she is so cool.

Tina and Joslyn's two fabulous sons serenade and dance and just look precious for the camera (and us for their 2nd Annual Valentine's Greeting .

In which Marvin declares victory over demonic attacks and talks about his recent podcast experience .

Lesbian, Lesbian, Lesbian. We don't hear enough of that word. Such a lovely word, a provocative word, a rich word. As I've been travelling North America and Europe sharing my experience in the "ex-gay" movement for these past three years (wow, it went so fast) I feel the absence of the lesbian voice in narratives of the "ex-gay" experience. Later this month I will present about the "ex-gay" movement at a women's conference at Sarah Lawrence College and feel hungry to know more about the experience of women who have attended "ex-gay" programs. I would love you to share some of your thoughts in the comments or to e-mail me about your experiences as a woman in the "ex-gay" movement.

Where Marvin bites the bullet and goes to the doctor with his illness and all his morbid fears. And what a run around! If you haven't done so yet, check out Marvin's exclusive tell-all interview at Beppepodcas t.

Jim Johnson over at the excellent pro-gay blog Straight, Not Narrow recently experienced a negative reaction to one of his pro-gay posts in a Yahoo queer group. Although he has had positive experiences in the past and a good track record with similar groups, some members of the Yahoo group felt offended by the post and possibly the presence of a straight man in their midst. Puzzled over this reaction, Jim reminded us all that acceptance is a two-way street. LGBT groups can be intolerant too. I agree with Jim that LGBT groups can be much more open, particularly towards queer-affirming people of faith, but as I considered his post I thought about the challenge of being an ally and the sort of rejection an ally may experience. I posted the following response that I thought might be helpful to those of us who seek to be better allies. Jim, I so appreciate what you do. The presence of straight allies in the struggle gives me so much hope. Your posts, filled with insight, warmth and humili...

Not in the moral sense of sickness (although some of you may be thinking that) no, Marvin is quite unwell physically (as evidenced by his most recent post below). I'll be sure to send him your well wishes for a speedy recovery. He was distraught at the prospect of having to miss church tomorrow if he is not better in time.

At dinner last night with John Stephens (friend of Tom Fox , one of four peaceworkers currently held captive in Iraq) and with Ray and Alan from Gay Christian Network ( GCN ), our conversation ranged widely. At one point we talked about how the homophobic remarks by conservative Christian leaders and politican often result in donations to the cause and votes on election. The same is true for newspaper circulation. Christine sent me a link to an article outlining the outing of celebrities in Cameroon, West Africa, a decidedly homophobic country. (Where I performed Queer 101 last April ) Seems homophobia is good for the newspaper business. "It's been a long time since our circulation exceeded 5000," said L'Anecdote editor Francois Bikoro. "Since we began dealing with homosexuality, it has gone up to more than 20,000. Read the full article in The Australian )

Folks have been wondering what's been going on with Love in Action and the court case against the state (and the restrictions placed on the program by the state). Hat tip to Queer Action Coaltion for posting a link to this Memphis Flyer story that tells the highlights of D.J. Butler's story and a little about the trial details.

Yep, Joe G. at Beppepodcast (out of LA) interviewed Marvin earlier in the week. Listen to learn so many facts about Marvin's former gay days "in the lifestyle", how he became a Christian and so much more. Seems Marvin is getting more attention than I am these days. That's okay, I'm sure once he makes it big, he'll remember us little people.

Suffering from what seems to him to be a combination of a cold, the flu and the Bubonic Plague, Marvin calls in sick, contemplates going to the doctor (once he tackles the HMO insurance hurddles involved) and talks about a new man in his life (don't get your hopes up).

In which Marvin regrets telling his mother all about his recent good news. He may also be coming down with a cold.

As I posted back in October, Morgan Fox and the folks at the Queer Action Coalition (QAC) continually impress me. These young people, not trained in activism, the law or public relations have stood up to the oppression of young people they have witnessed in Memphis. Always at the heart of what they are the welfare of the individuals involved (including Zach Stark's parents during the summer protests) and integrity. Just read the QAC's recent post to see what I mean. I've watched these folks move with such care, thoughtfulness and passion. It's been a learning process for all of them, but they consistently have take the high road. Much more will come out about Love in Action (LIA). Some experiences in LIA I have recetly heard from eye witnesses shock me beyond words. Any parent who cares for the welfare of their children will be shocked to hear these things as well. It will all come out in the proper time, but like the QAC has modelled for us, the welfare of individ...

In which Marvin concludes his tale and reveals exactly why the pastor and Dolores hauled him into the church office. If you have not done so yet, first listen to Marvin Returns and Marvin Returns (part 2 ) to get the full story.

Now that we have legal civil unions for same-sex couples in Connecticut, all sorts of domestic partnerships have popped up as evidenced by the two creatures who now co-habit my living room area. Morgan Fox , on a recent visit to Hartford brought me my own Ugly Doll and do you know within minutes it partnered with my froggy friend (won for me at the Santa Cruz, CA amusement park back in Sept '03). They seem very happy together.

Which is a terrible thing to write since my mother currently battles lung cancer. But because of Kurt Vonnegut's addiction to nicotine I spent five 10-15 minute private cigarette breaks with him throughout Saturday evening. Vonnegut, in Hartford to speak alongside of fellow writers, Joyce Carol Oats and Jennifer Weiner , needed some assistance throughout the evening. As an advisory board member to the Connecticut Forum , I was asked to serve as Mr. Vonnegut's personal valet. In his mid-eighties, Vonnegut needed to conserve his energy throughout day's events, which included a book signing, press conference, cocktail party, dinner, and then the two hour plus Forum event. I stuck close to his side, managed the fans that mobbed him and most importantly joined him outdoors for his smoke breaks. Not that I smoke (my delicate vegan body would crumble from one puff of his unfiltered cigarettes) but I did not mind gulping Vonnegut's second-hand fumes and first-hand accounts of ...

The Queer Action Coalition has posted an update to the most recent Love in Action news including this post with links accounts D.J. Butler's story which hit all the major press in Memphis. Butler, a 17 year old who was forced by his parents to attend LIA/Refuge, escaped and ultimately was granted legal emancipation from his parents. (NOTE: I cannot vouch for the accuracies in all these accounts. Sadly news providers are sloppy and generalize too much. One of the few journalists I trust to get the facts right is Eartha Melzer of the Washington Blade , who has yet to report on this story. Is she still at the Blade???)

In which Marvin recalls what happens when he is hauled into the pastor's office for a meeting. If you haven't done so yet, listen to Marvin Returns first to get the full story.

In which Marvin begins an account of his week which started at a gay church! (When he called me to tell me he posted, he apologized for the abrupt ending of the recording. Blogger only gives a few minutes for a message and he got cut off. Hedidn't have time to re-record before having to run off to work. He promied he will continue his account very soon. Who knows where it will end?

These stories seem to come in waves and it is likely we will hear more about "ex-gay" ministries in the gay press the next few weeks. Love in Action News Most notable is a press release posted by Mike Airhart at Ex-Gay Watch states that Teenage Participant in Exgay Love In Action/Refuge to Speak Out According to the press release The teen will tell his story, and answer questions about his traumatic stay at Love In Action, including his eventual escape from Memphis, and the legal battle that awarded him with the promise of never being forced into the program again.... ...The teenager will be in Memphis on Friday, February 3 at 3 p.m. in front of the Federal Courthouse, as Love In Action awaits a judge's decision in a “Motion to Dismiss/Preliminary Injunction” hearing - Love In Action International, Inc. v. Phil Bredesen, et al. Soul Survivors' Web Launch In Toronto, Canada, former "ex-gay" survivor Darin Squire launched a website for his new organization So...