Peterson Toscano's A Musing

I arrived today in Los Angeles for a weekend of shows with plenty of time to meet with cool people I've met on the web including folks from the Gay Christian Network , Eric , Jonathan Bullock , Reagan DuCass (who was just once again slimed on DL Foster's site ), Ex-Gay Watch's Daniel Gonzales (also slimed by Foster), Steve Schalchlin , Joe G , Malcolm Boyd , Mark Thompson and rumor has it even Troy Perry . My host, C. Todd White and his friend Bob have me in a lovely home in Encino with a super view, a pool and wi-fi. They will have trouble getting rid of me. On the plane I began reading Tanya Erzen's book Straight to Jesus--Sexual and Christian Conversions in the Ex-Gay Movement . Erzen spent 18 months at the New Hope residential ex-gay program (formerly Love in Action) in San Rafael, CA. She digs into the lives of participants current and former, mostly white Evangelical males, and unearths motivations and complexities in the pursuit of an ex-gay life. I have co...

In which Marvin recounts the cosmic backlash to his recent post about spiritual warfare--skeletons in the closet, sex demons in his bed and the Memorial Day frontal assault!

Braian Rainey over at Deror writes of parents who force their children to attend "ex-gay" programs, like Love in Action / Refuge (LIA/R), Some parents say they just want what's "best" for their child when they put them through ex-gay programs. I don't think so. I think it's more about the parent's sense of security, which they get from a rules-based, uncritical religious world-view. In order for the parents to hold on to this black and white world-view--that admittedly provides easy, simplistic answers in a tough, complex world--unfortunately, their child has to be sacrificed. Read Ex-Gay Youth Groups: A Form of Child Sacrifice Hat tip to Mike Airhart at Ex-Gay Watch

Aren't people absurd! They never use the freedoms they do have, but demand those they don't have; they have freedom of thought, they demand freedom of speech. -- Søren Kierkegaard

I didn't have time to write all that I wanted to write about Love in Action / Refuge and their bold push to further target queer and questioning youth. This morning I added some thoughts to my post Let Us Prey! (on Youth at Love in Action / Refuge) .

Hey gang, I have been in Nova Scotia most of this week the Narrative Matters conference at Acadia University in Wolfville. I will present Queer 101 tomorrow. GREAT conference where we discuss the power of narratives in therapy, education, social change, politics, etc. Through a simple yet effective theater presentation called Love Stories, scholars Maura McIntyre and Andrea Cole , shared the narratives of caregivers to Alzheimer's patients. In a few minutes I go to a session that looks at narrative in film. Presentation titles include: Traumatic distortions of body and time: Christopher Nolan's Memento , Personal and historical trauma in The Shining , and Cameras, scalpels and speculums: Popular film and the tragicomedy of pelvic exams . I so appreciate when scholars take the time and creative energy to present their findings in non-traditional means. How better to reach everyday folks who will be benefit from hearing the work. Although I didn't ask Marvin to pray a speci...

In which Marvin instructs his listeners in the art of spritual warfare.

This story comes via the Queer Action Coaltion (QAC), which led the protests against Love in Action / Refuge (LIA/R) a little over a year ago. LIA/R, the Memphis-area "ex-gay" program announced that they will step up their efforts to target youth (as young as 13!) Sounding a war cry, (in a hard to find document on their youth site ) LIA/R outlines their "ex-gay" agenda, Although we have seen success in our ministry, we see the culture relentlessly fighting back. So, we are expanding our ammunition to battle for young people and their families. Our experienced counselors and staff will offer a whole new array of options starting during the summer of 2006: • Residential recovery for young adults (ages 18-25) • College campus outreach • Revamped summer program for youth (ages 13-17) • Seminars to equip church and community youth leaders • Conferences to heal wounds within families • Creative support for parents and families The QAC goes on to state that LIA/R uses pr...

In which Marvin says good-bye to friends imaginary and real. That coupled with some of your recent comments has Marvin trusting God for a new season to begin..

In the past few posts I criticized the Christian "youth" organization BattleCry . The biggest problem I have is that it appears to be an adult-led initiative based in fear. Perfect love casts out fear, but in the language on BattleCry's site and in interviews, I hear little love and lots of anxious concern--fear that today's Christian youth will be snatched up by a dangerous, anti-God world that pushes values and ideas contrary to the Christian message of morality as understood by BattleCry's adult leaders. I cannot imagine how scary it can be to raise a child and to gradually lose control over the choices that child makes as s/he grows into adulthood. But in BattleCry's manifesto I sense distrust that young people will make the right decisions. These young people from these Evangelical Republican leaders learn that there is a war within--a deadly battle for their souls within their own souls. As a young conservative Christian, my leaders taught me that my ...

Sunsara Taylor over at Truthdig writes about the BattleCry group. The leaders of BattleCry claim that their religion and values are under attack, but amid spectacular light shows, Hummers, Navy SEALs and military imagery on stage, it is BattleCry that has declared war on everyone else. Its leader, Ron Luce , insists: “This is war. And Jesus invites us to get into the action, telling us that the violent—the ‘forceful’ ones—will lay hold of the kingdom.” Taylor lists some of BattleCry's sponsors including Pat Robertson, Charles Colson, (from the Nixon Watergate Scandal), and Jerry Falwell. Barbara Bush and former President Ford have both addressed BattleCry events which draw thousands of participants. Taylor continues, BattleCry is a part of the evangelical organization Teen Mania, and you can learn a lot about the kind of society that Teen Mania is fighting for by reading up on its Honor Academy , a non-accredited educational institution that offers directed internships to 700 ...

Recently I posted about Battle Cry , a conservative Christian youth organization with fascist leanings created by a straight white man from the Bush administration. (Okay, I am not a fan) On their home page they have three photos that flash on the screen. I wonder what stories these photos are trying to tell. Luke: Damn, I can't believe Travis and I got caught in the locker room last night. We were only kissing, but they warned me, "One moment on the lips then you're all over his hips, and then some." Ann Coulter Clone: Luke, it is not too late to repent and make things right. The stoning ceremony is still a day away. Luke: But I don't know what else I can do! I went to that ex-gay program like my parents wanted, I've prayed, fasted, had people cast demons out of me. I've done everything short of cutting my hair and destroying my Emo music collection. Ann Coulter Clone: We can tell them that you weren't kissing Travis, but that you were kissing me...

Jennifer Burke, at the always insightful Transcending Gender blog, quotes Jami Ward from not THAT different in response to the question, What do transgendered folks owe the rest of the world? The answer resonates beyond the trans community. We owe the world education. We are the only ones who know what it is like to be transgendered. We are the only ones who can try to tell people who have no gender dichotomy what it’s like to be different the way we are. If we are not willing to spend time with others, to answer questions and to show the world that we are not represented by Jerry Springer’s “guests”, then we cannot complain that people won’t accept us as just plain folks. We haven’t been willing to show them that we are just that. …snip… What, then, don’t we owe the world? We don’t owe the world submission. We have every right to be who we are, and we should be willing to stand up and say so. We don’t owe the world comfort. We cannot be concerned if our existence makes others uncom...

In which Marvin responds directly to your recent comments. From fruit trees of the Holy Spirit to English schoolboy uniforms, Marvin covers bold new territory and provides intuitive analysis of the lives of his international audience. It is the happiest I've heard Marvin in weeks.

Yep, I will be performaning Doin' Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House , my ex-gay satire, at a sweet little theater in Silverlake, CA. Friday June 2, and Sunday June 4, 2006 at 8:00 PM both nights at Space At Fountain's End 3929 Fountain Avenue (at Sanborn) Silverlake (Los Angeles), CA 323 856 6168 $15.00 On Saturday, June 5, 6:00 PM at the same place, I will do a special presentation of excerpts from three of my plays. It is all part of the Space's 1st Anniversary which will honor Tess Lotta & Corey Roskin. Come if you can, and spread the word to LA folks you know. I can't wait to meet cool on-line celebs like Daniel Gonzales and Regan DuCasse and Jonathan Bullock and Joe G . Ah, but before Los Angeles, I'm off to attend a spiritual activists' conference in Washington, DC then to present Queer 101 at a conference in Nova Scotia next week. You can check out the performance schedule to see if I'm coming to a venue near you. I'll have some more...

In which Marvin gives special shout outs to the many of you who have left comments and asks, "Where in America are you from?" (i have tried to convince Marvin that he has an international audience, but he thinks I am joking) He wants to know what is happening in your lives so he can work his voodoo Jesus magic on you.

Liadan at Life in the Gaps made me laugh out loud when responding for the sixty thousandth time to questions about being a same-gender loving person in light of what the Bible seems to say on the matter. Paul saw pagans banging anything that moved below them on a social hierarchy and spoke against it. What does this have to do with me being in a committed monogamous loving relationship with someone of my own sex? Nothing, thank you, and I hate having to qualify any relationship I might have as "committed and monogamous and loving." As far as I know, Christians don't have big political hissy fits over nonmonogamous hetero marriages of convenience. I love it when after I tell someone that I spent over 17 years trying to find freedom from homosexuality through Jesus, and the person responds, "Have you ever read the pasage (insert a clobber pasage )? I want to respond, "Funny, I read the Bible through at least four times, have memorized the book of Romans and loads...

In which Marvin shares the outcomes of his meetings with Pastor and with Soon. Wedding bells? Campaign speeches? With Marvin you never know.

Battle Cry, a conservative Christian movement to mobilize young people has begun to hold rallies around the US. The Battle Cry: Teen Bill of Rights states We, a new generation of young Americans, in order to protect the heritage of our forefathers and secure the blessings of liberty for ourselves and generations to come, do affirm and pledge this declaration: When character and morality are uncommon qualities, When corporations and marketers seek to profit from our destruction, When pop culture icons do not represent our values, When Judeo-Christian beliefs are labeled as intolerant, When activists seek to remove God from our schools, When truth is deemed relative and unknowable, It is necessary for us, the merging generation of young Americans, to stand for what is right and reclaim the values that have made our nation great. Of course as I read Battle Cry's site and news reports about their rallies and their militaristic drive to "reclaim" America for God and the Rig...

Does any good ever come out of "ex-gay" programs? Yes! You can make some excellent friends and maybe even find the love of your life. That is exactly what happened to Stephen Parelli and Jose Ortiz of New York City when they attended an “ex-gay” group at Calvary Baptist Church. On Sunday evening at a church in Philadelphia, the two will speak about their "ex-gay" experiences and their lives together. Sarah Blazucki at Philadelphia Gay News writes about the couple and the upcoming event. Blazucki also spoke with and quotes Wayne Besen, Daniel Gonzales at Ex-Gay Watch, Randy Thomas of Exodus and me. Thomas claims that Exodus "is criticized by both conservative religious groups and liberal activists." Perhaps it is his liberal views concerning same-gender loving people going to heaven. Thomas, who has been involved with Exodus for 14 years and an employee for four years, is careful to walk a line of nonconfrontation, though his language belies the group’s ...

I am on the Connecticut coast near Rhode Island where I just shared my "coming out" story with four groups of middle school children. The school scheduled speakers to help address issues of diveristy and conflict resolution. The two main presenters were us queer folks from Stonewall Speakers and a group of ex-convicts who spoke about violence and conflict. These young folks asked some great questions of us. How does it feel to be gay? How do gay people think? How did you family respond to you being gay? Peg, my speaking partner through the Stonewall Speakers, asked each group to raise their hands if they knew any lesbian, gay, transgender or bisexual individuals. Nearly every hand went up every time. In each session these 6th-8th grader spoke with knowledge and clarity about LGBT issues. One person asked, "What is a gay stereotype that you would like to see destroyed?" I replied, that people understand that gay activists and LGBT folks do not recruit and convert pe...

In what Marvin considers as a controversial post, he outlines how he plans to apply the Bible to restore order in his recently shattered life. It is time for drastic action, and Marvin is the man to creatively respond to crisis in Jesus' name.

One of the most frequent questions I get asked on my post ex-gay roadshow is, "What sort of success rate do the ex-gay programs have? Do they have statistics?" Alan Chambers regularly boasts figures of thousand and thousands and even hundreds of thousands of people who have found freedom from homosexuality through Jesus Christ. In an e-mailed response to Daniel Gonzales at Ex-Gay Watch , Melissa Fryrear, a professional ex-gay at Focus on the Faggot*, provides some insight into the scientific method of data collection used by ex-gay and anti-gay ministries, ...organizations like Exodus International have been in existence for several decades. Currently, for example, there are over 125 member ministries throughout the world. Each of these individual ministries have participants ranging in number of a dozen to hundreds. Given the longevity of Exodus and its breadth of referral ministries, again, thousands of men and women have participated and overcome their struggle with hom...

Tuesday evening at church and nothing is normal. Why does pastor look so awful? Is it avian flu? Why is everyone speaking in hushed tones like someone died? And where is Pastor's wife? Marvin hears shocking news at church that knocks the wind out of him. Soon too experiences a shock. To console himself and Soon, Marvin turns to his most reliable friend--ice cream. Will Marvin liberate himself from his oppressive church? Will he and Soon take their relationship to the next level? For a former homosexual why does Marvin experience so much drama? What is going on? I guess you have to listen.

In which Marvin spends a pleasant day at the Bronx Zoo with Soon. The pressures of church drive them into each other's arms--for prayer of course.

I've always been fascinated with Patty Hearst. Although only in third grade when Hearst, an heiress from California, was kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army (SLA), I somehow became wrapped up in news stories about her. Little did I know until years later that our paths actually crossed on more than one occasion. Initially a victim of the kidnapping, Hearst soon became an active member in the urban guerrilla terrorist group. Patty Hearst's wikipedia page states On April 15, 1974, she was photographed wielding an assault rifle while robbing the Sunset District branch of the Hibernia Bank in San Francisco. Later communications from her were issued under the pseudonym Tania (from the nickname of Haydée Tamara Bunke Bider) and revealed that she was committed to the goals of the SLA. A warrant was issued for her arrest and in September 1975, she was arrested in an apartment with other SLA members But somewhere between the time she turned terrorist and was captured, she lived...

Elizabeth McClung over at Screw Bronze! posted a well thought out blog posting outlining ways in which conservative anti-gay Christian groups like Focus on the Family, Exodus and PFOX (the uninspired acronym for Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays), who with their deep concern for America's youth, have systematically developed strategies to recruit and train straight youth and adults. They these folks loose to undermine the health and wel-being of queer and questioning youth. Elizabeth says it much better, with controlled emotion and stats. Check out Equal Humanity for Gays/Lesbians? Part II

Don't feel fully recovered yet from busy April, and seems that Marvin has taken over the blog (see below) but I did get to Northampton, MA to check out their amazing pride festival . This was unlike any Pride I experienced--a real family affair. (Much less feathers and leather than say NYC Pride). Lots of lesbian moms and gay dads with their strollers and children (and dogs--loads of dogs). The most amazing gathering of trans folks, genderqueers individuals and gender-liberated people I have ever seen. And young people--loads of high school and college students represented their GSAs. And the whole thing was over and cleaned up by 6:00 PM. Guess everyone had to put the kids to bed. I got to see some great folks from Bennington, VT (hey Aaron, Ashley, Anne, Sadelle, Elvis, Anja and the rest!) and a great trans teen I had met at True Colors in March (hey Elliot) and a new friend from Boston who joined me for the day (hey Max!). Also, I got to see the power couple Cale and Jenessa an...

In which Marvin witnesses a war on the saints by the saints in the house of God.

In which Marvin learns (through an unnamed church informant) that his recent letter to families is causing a church split. He also shares an explanation why he reacted so strongly to being told he should not work with children--he brings his skeletons out of the closet.

In which Marvin, reacting to your comments (and his pastor's suggestion that Marvin not work with small children) committed some acts this weekend that he now deeply regrets.

After a month of trips to multiple states for presentations (VT, CO, TN, NY, DE, MD, CT) and a few visits to my family to help out with my mom's cancer treatments, as they say in the UK, I am shattered! Wiped out. This morning after 11 hours sleep, I had to get out of bed or die of kidney faliure. I felt fuzzy and sepia toned. So with my new hat that I bought in Colorado and a pot of green tea, I attempt to piece myself back together. I have no plans all week, just relax and maybe vacuum.