Peterson Toscano's A Musing

On my recent trip to Malta, I met Paolo (not his real name), who when he was 18 (three years ago) stumbled into the ex-gay movement. His story helps illustrate how the US-based ex-gay theories and practices sneak in under the radar in Europe. When I came out to my mum about my sexuality I must admit she was not expecting this, however she was understanding and told me not to rush into things as this might just be one of the phases which adolescences may go through, and if I were gay she would have no problem with it, as nowadays its normal, however in order for me to find out if this were just a phase or not she soon referred me to a psychologist in Malta where I live. Seems reasonable enough except that this particular "therapist" quickly took Paolo on a down path in an attempt to de-gay him. She paused and said, ‘you gay?, not once did it cross my mind that you could be gay, however not to worry’ she added, and she soon reached out for a book which was created by a pastor...

From the island paradise of Malta (ah those pea pastries, yummy beaches and beautiful new friends) I have jetted to the another island paradise, Guernsey, one of the Channel Island. I'm with Auntie Doris , who will have photos up today I believe. We stay in her grandmother's home overlooking the English Channel. Most people I've met say it has the best views of any place in the island. I totally agree. Gorgeous. Today we took a ferry to the smaller island of Herm for time on the beach and a swim in the soul-freezing water. Even though it was so cold, I still managed to swim for about 20minutes and get some laps in. I also nearly completed the book, Notes From an Exhibition by Patrick Gale. The writing and the story holds me transfixed, but I also appreciate the inclusion of contempory Quaker characters. Gale even includes descriptions of Meeting for Worship, Quaker weddings, funerals and more. This weeks serves as a proper holiday for me (quite rare actually) but also a t...

My dear friend and host in Malta, Diane took some photos of my visit and my performances that I thought I would share with you. I head out today for the UK where I will be with Auntie Doris for one week in Guernsey then off to Lambeth. Here you see me with Diane Performing in the Re-Education of George W. Bush Lunch at the Open Centre with Mario who is saying some things that literally blows my mind. Kissing Fudge the dog. As Deborah in Transfigurations At the beach with Marjon, Fredrick and the dogs, Fudge and Milly

My trip to Malta quickly comes to a close when I fly back to London on Monday. Last night I performed The Re-Education of George W. Bush--No President Left Behind! to a lively (and sweaty) audience in a super cool performance space called Warehouse No. 8 . It literally had been a warehouse and still retains some of its rustic and industrial charm. It reminds me of some of the loft theater spaces in NYC during the 1980's--the kind of space that inspires progressive theater. Earlier this year I have performed the Bush play in Sweden, England, Wales and Northern Ireland. Each time I wonder, Will it work here? I do not presume that my performances will translate into other cultural and political-social settings. So far the piece has worked out in these non-US venues. Of course all these places have nearly constant exposure to US media, so many of the references and in-jokes do not seem all that foreign. Also the play pokes fun at George Bush in part and the USA and its citizens to a ...

I sat for a long interview the other day with Ariadne Massa, a journalist with the Times of Malta. She seemed fascinated with the ex-gay portion of my life and asked many questions about that experience. Of course she on my never dying adoration with the a lovely compliment in the opening paragraph. With his infectious smile, spirited remarks and positive energy, it's hard to imagine how Toscano suppressed his true being for 17 years to fit in society's pigeonhole of 'straight' people. At 43, the long traumatic journey has failed to etch wrinkles in his flawless complexion, which he attributes to daily moisturiser and veganism. See I am a living breathing billboard advertisement to the wonders of being a vegan. Shoot if the environmental impact doesn't move you or the reality that it is a more humane choice, surely I can appeal to your vanity! What I like about sitting for interviews is that it forces me to think about places in my life that I might not normally con...

I arrived in Malta on Thursday night and have been to the sea two times. Since it is only a seven minute walk from where I stay, I will go pretty much everyday. I love to swim and rarely get to do so these days, so it is laps and more laps with respite on the beach for me. I have experienced great hospitality from my Maltese friends, especially Diane and her partner Marion. Today we ate lunch at a stellar Italian restaurant. Paulo, the chef, heard I was vegan and went to town creating me an enormous dish of fresh pasta with plum tomatoes, olives and garlic. Yum. Forget the churches and palaces, when I travel, I like to eat. Malta remains a conservative country with over 90% of the population Roman Catholic. It is one of two countries in the world where divorce is not legally available. The Sunday Times, a right wing paper, has only just recently published articles about gay Catholics like James Alison, who was here not too long ago. I sat with a reporter for the paper yesterday, and sh...

Here are some videos for you (cause I'm too lazy to do any proper blogging, but I do have enough energy to maintain a raw vegan diet this week. Yum) 1. Announcement about my upcoming trip to Malta (shot in the courtyard at the St. Albans during European Forum of Lesbian and Gay Christians.) Check out Drachma's blog here . 2. PFLAG protests Love Won Out 3. Vincent Cervantes talks about the impact of ex-gay treatment and theories on his creativity. 4. Jayna (of the fabulous Trans-Ponder podcast ) talks about the importance of coming out of the closet 5. Grisno goes Under NYC! (Which reminds me of when Pastor David Wilkerson exhorted the Times Square Church congregation to pray for the C.H.U.D.s ) 6. And finally Mittymoo has some great zany video's with someone who must be a close relative to Marvin Bloom. (starring John Roberts). In My Son is Gay a mother comes to grips with the gayness of her son. And if you liked that one, check out this year's Mother's Day video ...

During my recent trip to Europe, I did not take many pictures; I have to be in the mood. Someone in Barcelona will send me photos from our Beyond Ex-Gay conference there (which I will blog about soon--promise! It was AMAZING!) Below are some photos (click on them for a HUGE view) Church pictures in St. Albans (With the European Forum of Lesbian a went for Evensong) A day at Hatfield House with Auntie Doris Yorkshire Sculpture Park with Jo & Ali