Peterson Toscano's A Musing

Last night I performed Transfigurations-Transgressing Gender in the Bible at Imago Dei Metropolitan Community Church in Glen Mills, PA (about 15 miles outside of Philly). I had a diverse audience of about 45 people -- college students, Quakers, straight, bi, trans and lesbian, young and old. I took my time with the piece maintaining a gentle meditative pace. For the ending when I reveal the identity of the narrator, I had instructed the light tech to dim the lights. Then as the closing music swelled, I asked her to raise the lights to their brigthest intensity. With the music playing, I exited. Always (up until last night) at this point the audience applauds, I wait 5 seconds then come out to take a bow. Last night I exited and then nothing. No one clapped. They sat quietly as the music played. I stood back stage puzzled, baffled. Now what do I do? Wait? Go out anyway? And I wondered for a moment, Did they hate it? Did I confuse them? Offend them? Bore them into a coma? After what ...

After a few weeks of barely leaving the house except for social reasons, I head out today by train to Philadelphia for the beginning of travel that will bring me to Washington, DC, Baltimore, MD and Vancouver, BC (that's in Canada). After that I am off to Nashville, TN, Denver, CO, Boulder, CO, Colorado Springs, CO and Seattle, WA. You can see my full schedule here . This weekend I will be in Glen Mills, PA at Imago Dei Metropolitan Community Church about 15 miles out of Philadelphia. Tonight (Fri) I will perform Queer 101—Now I Know My gAy,B,Cs , a play that looks at homophobia, identity and activism through the words and lives of lesbian and gay poets. I last performed this piece in April at Manchester Community College. In it I get to perform my FAVORITE scene of any of have written, the fantasy date between Chad and Federico Garcia Lorca. (Which you can see here .) Tomorrow (Sat) I will present Transfigurations—Transgressing Gender in the Bible . This play is probably the harde...

I have the privilege of speaking in middle schools and high schools in various places in the US, the UK and Europe. When I meet with a group of high school students (ages 14+), I typically perform my play Queer 101—Now I Know My gAy,B,Cs . This one-person, multi-character comedy explores homophobia, identity and activism through the words and lives of lesbian and gay poets. In it I do the scene between my character Chad and the Spanish poet Federico Garcia Lorca. (See video here .) We also explore tems like gay, fag, queer, sissy, dyke, etc. With younger students I do not present the whole play as some of it may be over their heads (more so because the complex historical background to some of the poems and less so about the sexual content). With middle school students (under age 14) we look at identity starting out with considering things about ourselves that we don't like that we might like to change (hair color, height, abilities, etc). Next I do my Identity Monologue with the s...

Today I did something I've never done before. I watched my play Doin' Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House—How I Survived the Ex-Gay Movement! I have had video, DVD and audio versions of the play since as early as 2003, but the most I ever watched or listened was about 10 minutes. I always had an image in my head of what the play looked like on stage and worried that if I saw what it really looks like than it would mess something up for me in subsequent performances. Yesterday I arrived in Memphis, TN (one of my favorite places on the planet). Today I met with Morgan Jon Fox , that fine filmmaker, to look at his edits of my Homo No Mo play which he and his crew filmed back in February. I had to watch the entire film version and give Morgan feedback about the edits and the artistic touches he added. The crew did an amazing job with the taping of the show, and even though I knew every line, I still found myself laughing out loud at least twice. Towards the end, when the chara...

From Urban Dictionary Phallic Fruit Fetish -- A "disorder" popularized by gay Quaker performing artist Peterson Toscano in his play " Doin' Time the Homonomo Halfway House " about his time spent as a patient in a Christian residential program to "cure" gay people. Another resident in the program suffered from Phallic Fruit Fetish (or PFF) and had a persistent desire to commit sexual acts with phallically shaped fruits. The problem was alleviated when all phallic shaped fruits were removed from the facility. Rev. Smid ordered all bananas removed from the house upon learning of a patient's phallic fruit fetish. And as I have Chad explain in the play, He had a PFF, a Phallic Fruit Fetish, but he had a really serious case of it that actually extended into the vegetable word. As a result, no cucumbers, no zucchini, no carrots--oh, except for the little min...

Below are some important videos that address ex-gay stuff AND when you are done, at the very bottom, see Christine Bakke's handiwork. Over at YouTube ProfMTH put up a movie review of the anti-gay propaganda movie Sodom and Gomorrah. No it is not one of the Biblical porn films Love in Action forbade us from watching, rather a contemporary story about the lavender menace threatening the world as we know it. I felt especially pleased when I heard the reviewer referenced the apologies of former ex-gay leaders that Beyond Ex-Gay and Soulforce featured at our press conference last June in LA. Next we have a video brought to us by Daniel Gonzales over at Box Turtle Bulletin . This one features Jeff Williamson. Christine writes an EXCELLENT post inspired by this video. Daniel writes, When Jeff Williamson of Denver came out to his parents a year ago they sent him to see Christian counselor Bob Hudson whom they had been referred to through Focus On The Family. Jeff, who knew there’s no...

In my play, The Re-Education of George W. Bush—No President Left Behind , my character Chad offers an environmental lesson. His primary point outlines how being a vegan helps the planet. In his deliciously flaming style he states that, Gas from cars has a significantly less impact on the planet than that emitted from cows in the forms of burps and farts. And as I say the line, I put my left hand to my mouth ( for burps) and then down by my behind (for farts) and add, "I think that's the sign language for those." After last night's performance, two women approached me and said that they knew American Sign Language. One asked if I wanted to learn the actual signs for burp and fart . Um, yeah! So next time you see the show, if you don't know them already, you will also learn these signs. Brilliant. The Chad environmental lesson serves as a pivotal scene in the performance because it is the first lesson that does not simply target the president. It speaks directly t...

I performed Transfigurations--Transgressing Gender in the Bible at SMYRC , the Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center in Portland, OR. In my opening remarks I also performed my identity monologue, which I already have up on YouTube, but it feels so different in front of a live audience. After the play, I also did and excerpt from Queer 101--Now I Know My gAy,B,Cs . Yes, it is the scene between Chad and Federico Garcia Lorca. Folks have been clamoring for it for over a year, so for your view and sharing pleasure, below you will see that famous scene. Much thanks to Mark Middleton for taping and editing and uploading the video and then treating me to Pix Patisserie !!! Identity Monologue Excerpt from Queer 101

Tomorrow I premiere my newest one-person show, Transfigurations--Transgressing Gender in the Bible . I don't often share about my process as a playwright, mainly because I assume most people find it boring. Lately though people have asked me about how I create and build a new theater piece. If you are interested in process, read away. If not, surf away to your next blog. I don't actually write the play, not with pen and paper or through a word processing program. In fact, I never have a script written until after the 12th performance. I find that when I script lines of dialog, they sound bulky, clumsy, wooden. I want an authentic sound. So once I have all my basic ideas in my head, with some written notes, I create my characters, and then I have fun and play. I speak as these characters and let the words form in my mouth. Sometimes I leave funny messages on friends' voice mails, or I walk around the house composing lines. This is the power of the oral tradition. For many o...

You all will not hear too much from me during the month of November. I am in the last stages of creating a theater piece that looks at gender-different people in the Bible, those folks who transgress gender yet remain some of the most important people in the stories in which they appear. (Wanna know who? Wait to see Transfigurations !) In meeting and speaking with transgender folks this past year, I have grown to understand levels of oppression towards them perpetuated by straight people who represent the gender-normative society as well as by gay and lesbian people who also demand gender-normative presentations. I view the Bible as a mirror to help us see each other and ourselves in a way that can and should transform our thinking. And for non-trans folk (gay, lesbian, bisexual and straight) in regards to trans folks, I see that the challenge is to no longer conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of our minds. This process so often comes through liste...

As promised, I have an important announcement to share with you. It's something that I had determined months ago, but sat with it, talked to my support committee and some of you about and held in the Light since that time. I feel confident and even excited to announce that in February 2008 I will officially retire my play, Doin' Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway Houuse--How I Survived the Ex-Gay Movement . I premiered the play in Memphis, TN in February 2003 (on my birthday) and have since taken it far and wide . (A Google Vanity Search yields nearly 12,000 hits for the term " Doin' Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House ") Back in 2003 there was very little out there countering the claims of ex-gay therapies and ministries. Mike Airhart had just started Ex-Gay Watch , and although gay activists, like Wayne Besen , spoke out against the Ex-Gay Movement, there were no ex-gay survivors telling their stories in any public way. Since that time so much has changed. Folks li...

For the third time this year I will be in the UK. Turning into a wonderful habit. I just booked the flights for a trip gets me to London on 17 August and back home on 3 September. I was initially hoping that I would spend more time in Europe, but September will be a month for me to do some quiet reflection and will also be a time for me to get together with family as it will mark one year since my mom passed away (who still feels very near to me daily). I am thrilled to be returning to Cardiff, Wales on 18 August where I will perform The Re-Education of George W. Bush which is sponsored by the Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement . I had a great time last year and met some super people. I will spend a little more time there this year. Then I get to see dear friends in Cheltenham at Greenbelt where in addition to the Bush piece, I will present Doin' Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House . I just found out that Matt Redman will be there this year. Nice. James Alison will return as w...

Ah, in sunny LA where I presented a show with Momma this morning at WeHo Church . It is our Dragged Out of the Spiritual Closet piece we did at True Colors this year. This time our audience was mostly gay Christian men (with a smattering of women and a German TV crew that has been stalking me since Friday). After service we all headed off to The Abbey for some drinks, snacks and chatting. Momma, being the big Hollywood big shot, was immediately shown to the best table in the house and given a bunch of free munchies. Glamor has its perks. Since I was first visited the Abbey last year with my long lost buddy Joe and filmed my first vlog entry there, I thought I would take out the camera and shoot some more video and photos. Photos: 1. Daniel Gonzales, Timothy Kincaid and Me 2. Daniel and Momma 3. Momma and Me before our show (I'm playing Dr. Rev. Meadows) 4. Momma momentarily pissed (she got over it right away; she's classy that way) Oh, and Nathan, the cute guy who appear...

I am blogging from the Friends Center bookshop and cafe across the street from Euston Station. They have wifi and free computers for anyone to use off the street. I love that. Not much time. I have to prepare for my talk/presentation tonight at the Courge UK meeting here in London (at an undisclosed location. They are funny about letting people know where they meet. I feel so covert.) My presentation will center around some of the research I am doing for my next play Transfigurations , which will look at the lives and stories of transgender, genderqueer and gender different people in the Bible. In addition to performing the gAy,B,Cs from Queer 101, I will share some of what I have unearthed about trans folks in the Bible. So much wonderful information about trans people who were utterly essential to the stories in which they appeared. Many people ask, But who are these trans people in the Bible??? I've never seen them . Of course many of us have not seen them. We have been trained...

Yes, I realize it has been several days since I blogged. Over the weekend I co-led a retreat for BGLQT Quakers (I like to to mix up the letters) with my Friend Judy, an amazing bisexual, artistic, singing therapist (just to name a few of her labels). The retreat turned out to be very centered and spiritual, AND I survived a weekend without my cell phone and Internet access (but I did have a dream about AIMing) Yesterday I spent much of the day with some filmmakers working on a journalistic documentary about the ex-gay movement. I know I encourage lots of folks to share their stories, but I so easily forget how exhausting it is to do so. Being honest, vulnerable and present throughout the telling can knock the wind out of us. After the filmmakers left, I decided I would not go on-line and answer the 250+ e-mails waiting for me. I would not start reading The Transcended Christian , a book a publisher sent me to review. I would not go on-line to work on bXg or the Ex-Gay Survivor Confere...

Okay gang, I have some video for you. First is a clip from when Steven Fales and I appeared on the Trya Banks Show. (Note: if you ever appear on a daytime TV program, NEVER tell them that you had an exorcism or other extreme momentary experience. They will focus so much on that they they could actually miss the point.) Ex-Gay Watch links to a video ad for Exeter International, a thinly veiled parody. There is a good reason I don't watch myself perform on video--it is scary and I may never perform again. Am I really this bizarre??? Peggy Senger Parsons caught some video of Vlad in the act during my recent presentation of my one-man (multi-character comedy) The Re-Education of George W. Bush . The question is, when I make a complete fool of myself, will my friends ever tell me??? Peggy writes, Vlad presented an interpretive dance to a hidden Condaleeza Rice in the audience. Vlad's goal was to entice Condi to run for president and re-instate Russia as the United States favorite...

I'm feeling tender today. Good thing that I am among Friends here. Peggy Parsons , the amazing motocyle-riding, Christ-centered Quaker minister and her family have put me up for the night here in Salem, OR. Peggy is the real deal pastoring a semi-programmed Quaker church, preaching wherever the doors open and working with trauma victims in Burundi--many of them Quakers. Last night the brilliant Quaker artist (music, visual art, humor, you name it) Alivia Biko cooked us a killer vegan meal replete with vegan chocolate chip cookies. I felt loved. (BTW both Peggy and Alivia miss Joe G. Just saying in case he is lurking :-) Yeah, I am feeling tender as I soak up all of this love in Portland with Doug and Bruce and Bonnie and in Salem with Peggy and her family and Alivia. This tour has been great in many ways but harder than most. Since the launch of bXg , Christine, Steve and I have received so many stories from people sharing their trauma from ex-gay experiences. I read some of these...

Tonight in Portland (PDX) I got to revisit SMYRC , the Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center. A youth center started by youth some years back, it is a safe space for LGBTQ youth to hang out, play video games, enjoy Dance Dance Revolution, do hair, work on theater, and just be with friends and caring adult volunteers. They do a GREAT job at keeping the young people safe with very clear guidelines about appropriate, respectful, acceptable behavior. The room filled this evening with all sorts of Queers--goth, butch, fem, genderqueer, latino, Black, bisexuals, questioning, transgender and whatever. When I attend the True Colors Conference each year, I hear folks in my generation (Generation X) say how they wish they had something like this when they were growing up, it would have made all the difference. Yeah, I tend to agree. If I had SMYRC growing up, I think I would have found myself so much sooner and would have saved myself and others years of turmoil and heartache. Last January I p...

This morning I did two performances of Queer 101-Now I Know My gAy,B,Cs at a high school in Greensboro, North Carolina. The show looks at homophobia, identity and activism through the word and lives of lesbian and gay poets. Although it was INSANELY early in the morning (don't they realize that most youth do not fully function until 11 am?), the students responded well and asked great questions. After the second show, some students approached me to chat a bit about the show, queer issues and their lesbian, bisexual and gay friends. One female student told me that some of the guys at the school felt anxious about the show thinking that I would talk about gay sex and then try to convert them to being gay (the famous "gay agenda"). Not the first time I have run into this assumption both from students and parents. I am so glad that at one point in the play Chad, one of the characters, rattles off his list of what he is looking for in a potential mate. Of course he would have...

Carol writes : In the past two years, I've read stories and posts and profiles and blog entries, seen pictures, copied quotes and I've identified with people outside of my circle of friends. I have become acquainted with new people - and I love it! She then writes words that give me a big smile and a warm feeling in my heart. Yesterday all of my girls and I traveled about an hour away to Earlham College. We'd come to watch the one-man performance that portrayed personal experiences of living in an ex-gay ministry. This performance revealed many true-to-life happenings, some of which were humorous to laughing out loud funny, as well as the heartbreak felt by those who try and inevitably cannot, change through any means, their sexual identity/orientation. By taking on various characters, Peterson Toscano also shared the hope - the hope and the inspiration - to bring love and light to those around us. This includes our gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender friends and family,...